Yours

I was yours last night. Totally and completely yours. I was hanging from every word you said. You spoke about the whore board and bringing it out again. This time talking about the variation that my masturbation will have, now that I have not one but two lovers.

Some days you will set a time limit, other times you will give me a goal of a certain number of orgasms I must achieve. Being the naughty little girl I am, I asked “But how can you be sure I’m not lying?” Your response was exactly as I had hoped. You said I was good and that you trusted me. However, you also said that you could make me film my time spent masturbating.

We spoke of you setting a low number of orgasms and me having to film it. I smiled devilishly and bravely said “But I can just turn the camera off when I’ve reached your target and continue”. I knew I was being bold. I knew I wasn’t behaving like the good little girl that I should. But I did it anyway.

You kissed me on my lips then trailed your kisses along my cheek and up to my ear. My eyes were closed; I was listening intently to the sounds of you jerking your hard cock, your staggered breath in my ear.

You broke the silence when you spoke into my ear “but you’re such a good slave”. My breath caught between my lips, had I been standing your words would have brought me to my knees. I felt that involuntary twitch; my body was in your control. My arousal dependent on what you did or said next.

It was then that I was close. Neither without undressing or any contact between my legs, had you commanded me to cum then, I believe I would have.




Do you even know the power you have over me?

What Does A Dirty Slut Need?

I had helped Daddy masturbate, and now it was my turn.

There was a point during my masturbation last night when I really wanted Him to slap me. I wanted to feel His palm across my cheek. I wanted to feel the sting of where His blow had struck. I really wanted Him to slap my face. And this is unusual for me.

Sure I love being spanked. And even when it's a punishment spanking, I still get some enjoyment from it. But being slapped? Never have I wanted to be slapped. (And I recall once being slapped across the face by my grandmother....not a pleasant experience, or one I would want again). But nonetheless, last night, I desperately wanted Him to slap me. I wanted Him to strike me.

I didn't want to ask or request though. So I said nothing. So what about now? Do I still feel it? Do I still want to experience this? Yes, it turns me on thinking about it.

He's definitely in control when He slaps me. It's the Dominance thing I reckon. I mean, you know someone else is in control when you get slapped. That slap means business. It says "Listen here bitch, I'm in charge!!" That's what I wanted. I wanted Him to dominate me. And I wanted Him to show me that He was The Boss by slapping me.

Daddy will be reading this, so now He knows what I want.

Now I want to know what you all think about the face slapping..Is it for you? Have you done it before? Did you enjoy it? Do you prefer slapping others to being slapped? Let me know (so I don't think I'm the only one out there who wants to be slapped).

Off-limits

I find it quite interesting that I have an adult blog which I have discussed and posted my thoughts on many subjects. I feel free to discuss such things as: my submission to my Master, His control over me, anal sex, fisting, my fantasies, spanking, discipline, pissing etc. However, there are some topics that even for me, someone who considers herself very open to new possibilities and very open-minded, I think twice about posting about. I even thought twice before admitting about our masturbation lifestyle.

In today’s society, where fetishes are becoming more and more accepted, I still think twice before posting on some topics. But why, when sexual practices are less taboo than they used to be, do I hesitate on sharing my thoughts about some things? Because even though we have become more accepting towards others and their ‘interests’, some topics, I feel, are still off limits, and that I might be judged in a negative manner should I talk openly about them. None the less, that’s what I’m about to do.

Two topics in particular that I still feel have negative connotations are animal sex, and female body hair. Let these two topics sink in, and think about how you feel about them. Is it negatively or positively?

Maybe they don’t interest you, maybe they turn you on, and maybe they repulse you. But these are two topics that I could have posted about many times and haven’t. And I haven’t because honestly, I worry that I might get negative comments about what I say or that what I say would turn some readers away from coming back and reading my blog. Sure I could delete the comments (which I don’t want to do) or not write about them (which I have been doing), but I think today is as good a day as any to change that.

I’m not saying that I’ve had sex with animals, but it is a fantasy of mine. Whether I act on this or not in the future is irrelevant, because up until this point I haven’t felt comfortable admitting here that this is one of my fantasies and something that does turn me on. I’m not talking about animals in general or saying that I want to try having sex with as many male animals as I can, but I do fantasise about having sex with dogs and to a lesser extent horses. That’s as far as it goes with me, but everyone is different and I’m sure there are others out there that would want to try it with more than just a dog or a horse, and that’s cool.

Now onto female body hair, the other topic that I haven’t felt comfortable discussing here before now. We as women are taught from a young age that it is not beautiful or feminine to be sporting hairy armpits, legs, or facial hair. This is what razors are for, to get rid of that unsightly hair and thus be more appealing to the opposite sex.

Now I’m not a big one for facial hair on women, and I don’t have to worry about this, but there are women out there who do. It is their choice as to whether they keep this or get remove it, and I support their decision. The same goes for armpit and leg hairs as far as I’m concerned. It is a woman’s personal choice if she wants to keep it or remove it.

For me, I’m not being lazy when I don’t shave my legs. It’s a chore for me. I can’t see much clearly without my glasses unless it’s within a few inches of my face. This makes shaving my legs a tiresome task with spots always missed. Sure when I was just hitting puberty the idea of finally being able to shave my legs was exciting, but back then I could see more than I can now, and I bought into the media’s idea of what beauty is determined by. Now on the other hand, it’s a different story.

I’m not a tree-hugging hippy feminist and I don’t burn my bras, but I prefer to have hair on my legs. Yes I do shave, but far infrequently than I’m told I should. I always used to shave my legs before Master came to visit, because I didn’t want him to see me as not being feminine enough. Now I don’t. Why? Well, yes it’s my choice, but it’s also something He loves. Yes you read that right, He loves my legs being hairy. He would much prefer to touch my legs when they are covered in hairy growth than when I’ve just shaved them. Why? It’s a fetish of His, this is just who He is, and I couldn’t be more happy about that. I get to be me, and He loves me all the more for that.

I haven’t shaved my legs in almost 8 months, and yes I’ve been through Winter, Spring and Summer like this (and soon to be Autumn). I used to be self-conscious about wearing anything other than jeans or long pants that didn’t cover my hair. I would worry that people were staring at my legs, assuming I was some kind of hippy or feminist or both. And I’m not saying being either of those things is bad, it’s just not the reason for me not shaving my legs. So what about now? How am I now going out in public not having hair free legs? I do it and I wear shorts and skirts and people can see I have hairy legs, but I don’t care. I stand tall and true to myself, because this is me. And if they want to look and think negatively about me, then I say “Go right ahead”. What they think or feel doesn’t affect me. I am me and I will continue to be me.

Armpit hair I do have, although I don’t let it get too long. An inch is the longest it’s been (and some of you are probably reading this and thinking “An inch…and that’s not too long?”). I don’t grow it any longer because of personal hygiene reasons, and that’s my choice. How does He like it? I hear you ask. Well, He’s the one who encouraged me in the first place. I wasn’t opposed to it, but I wasn’t exactly for it either. How times have changed. My armpit hair and leg hair turns Him on, which in turn, turns me on. So here I am, saying it loud and proud that I am a hairy woman. Will I change my mind down the track? Possibly, but then again I may not. As long as we’re both happy, then that’s all that matters really. What other people think and feel about my body hair, as I said before is irrelevant. I will continue being true to myself until the day I die. After all, it’s me that has to live with it. And it certainly isn’t my job to keep everyone happy. I do what makes me happy period.

Lucy

Because it's what I need and what I crave.

Why is it that I’m submissive? This is a question that I’ve been asking myself for a little while now. Maybe it comes down to the fact that I’m just a little girl on the inside who wants to be taken care of. Maybe it’s because I want to let go of some control in one part of my life and let someone else make the decisions for me. Maybe I’m submissive because I put others first and this is just an extension of that.

All I know is that I love it. I love being told what to do, I love pleasing Him. I love knowing that me being pleased is not a top priority. I love that I have a job, and that job is me submitting to Him, and everything that comes with it.

I find it difficult to request what I want when it comes to being intimate. Perhaps that’s just because He’s my first and only partner (and He’s more experienced) or perhaps that’s just who I am.

I love that He takes control and tells me what to wear (or what not to wear), when I can and can’t masturbate, when I can and can’t orgasm.

I came across an interesting point on Persephone’s blog where her owners stated that she was thinking of her orgasm as being for her. They corrected her and stated that it wasn’t for her and that nothing of her body is for her. “You feel the benefits of it, but it’s not for you”. This struck a chord with me, which rang so true. I know that the orgasm’s I have are because of Him allowing me to have them, but I always thought that it’s because He wants me to be pleased and obtain what I need. I’m sure this is true, but when looking at it from the other perspective, they aren’t for me. My orgasm’s are essentially for Him, after all, He’s the one that is either allowing or denying them. And although I’m receiving the specific pleasure from them, it’s the pleasure that he’s receiving by me having an orgasm that is most important.

Of late, I’ve been asking Him to tell me when to orgasm. I’ve felt it coming, but being a masturbation addict I drag it out longer and tease myself. A few times over the years He’s told me that He’s going to count down and that I was to orgasm when He reached a certain number. I wasn’t as trained as I am now, and I couldn’t manage to orgasm from His command. Back then my thoughts were “well, I know this is what I’m supposed to do, but I can’t. I can’t orgasm on command, and it really doesn’t matter if I do or not, He won’t be upset, He’ll understand”.

My headspace has changed from when I thought this. I know now that it’s really not about me. It’s not about me deserving to have an orgasm or even earning the privilege to have one. It’s about Him. It’s about what He wants, and what He wants to see.

So, as I said, lately I’ve been asking Him to command me to orgasm. It has been working, and it’s been working because I know commanding me isn’t for my benefit, and neither is my orgasm. He is in control of me, He knows what I need, but more importantly, it’s what He needs.
I must state here that when He commands me it’s not at a random time. It’s not while I’m washing up or reading or at any other non-sexual moment like these. I am commanded when I have been masturbating and He knows that I’m getting there. It just pushes me to that edge that normally I would hold out for, teasing myself for longer.

I obviously enjoy having an orgasm, but it’s more than that when He commands me. It’s another way of me submitting to Him and showing Him just how much I love Him and how much I love Him having control over me. It’s giving up that power, giving up a part of me, but letting Him have it instead.

I enjoy my orgasms more when I know He wants them, and they are better because when I have them, they happen at the exact moment He wants them to.


So why is that I'm submissive? Because it's what I need and what I crave.