Monday, June 23, 2008

Friendly Kink

It’s funny the things we think about, what we mull over. What we spend countless minutes (hours? days?) thinking about. And there’s something that I’ve been thinking about….friends. No, not in a which-one-of-my-girlfriends-would-I-eat-out kinda way (this has already been established…a long time ago). But I was thinking about them regarding the whole to be or not to be (vanilla).

As you all know from reading about me, I’m not (vanilla that is). But my friends are, well most of them. I’ll talk about 3 friends in particular, and I shall call them P, K & R. I met them all within the first couple of weeks at uni. P is a few years older than me, and has just moved out of home with her first boyfriend. She is fairly short, with olive-dark complexion and black hair. P is very pretty. K is a year older than me and gorgeous. Blonde, nice size boobs, and great body, but not your stereotypical blonde. She first had sex at 14 and now lives at the beach with her fiancée. R is the same age as me (few months younger). She has big boobs (I’m talking E size at one point…slightly smaller now that she’s lost some weight), and although she’s almost finished her degree, she really is a ditz.

Now, are they vanilla? I believe that P is. Given that the current boyfriend is the first man she’s been intimate with (and for less than a year), I think she is. Although we are open with one another (she is my best friend), I don’t know that she’d tell me if she got into or tried more ‘raunchy’ things in the bedroom. P was the first friend whom I confided in when I got my nipples pierced. Her reaction? “OMG. Are you fucking insane? Really?” I laughed my arse off when she said that to me. “Umm…yeah. Of course”. Which was followed by some more OMG’s on her part and then: “So what, you just went on holiday and decided to get your nipples pierced?” This I laughed at too. (This holiday was a visit to Daddy when we were still living apart). She even asked if she could see them (which hasn’t happened yet). I told her she could, if that’s what she wanted.

Now K is the type of friend that you could tell anything to and know that she wouldn’t tell a soul. She’s also the friend you can sit up with til the wee hours of the early morning discussing topics that are as far unrelated to each other as you could imagine i.e. how to do anal sex the right way, so it doesn’t hurt and being a personal carer for someone’s who is dying. See what I mean? Nothing is off-topic, nothing is too obscure. She is a woman of substance and so true. I can laugh with (and at) her, and we have cried together. K is the one I have a crush on. I have since I first met her. She is the second friend I told about having my nipples pierced. She was somewhat surprised, but mostly unphased (she has other friends that have it done).

Back when I first knew K, she seemed more sexually experienced than I ever thought I could be (more than one partner, experienced a threesome etc). I was in awe of her and looked up to her. She was honest and open and if you got her on the piss and she was as suggestive as you could imagine (and as sexy as hell). She was the first friend of mine who admitted she couldn’t do without her vibrators, even when her fiancée was home. It was refreshing (and who knew that I’d turn out just like that too?). Primarily, K would be vanilla, but she’s definitely willing to experience and experiment with new things (situations, toys, lovers). I think she could be either a sub or Domme; she’d do well with both. I can imagine her being both my sister sub and at other times dominating me.

Now on to R. Although ditzy most of the time, you can have a conversation with her. And during my first couple of years at uni R and I were quite close (no, not in a I-used-to-go-over-for-sleepovers-and-we’d-eat-each-other-out kind of way), we were good friends back then. Back in the days when she hadn’t slept with anyone. I saw her through her first sexual ‘relationship’ (and I use that term loosely). And I saw her start the second one (much better choice than the first). Now she’s set to marry the second one.

I remember one night we’d had a pizza and DVD night and were sitting on her bed chatting away, reading Cosmo (as we all do). And we got to the sealed section (“oooohhh”). It was a list of like 100 things to try with your sexual partner. We went through it and I was surprised that from those 100, there was only a handful that I hadn’t done. She was surprised. Now there wasn’t anything too raunchy in the list, quite tame actually (if my memory serves me correct). I believe a bit of tying to the bed was mentioned (who hasn’t done that?) as well as the standard things like anal etc. R has a naughty side, which is mostly spurred on by others. She doesn’t like to be anything but normal, she likes to do what other people do. In this respect, I think it’s safe to assume her orientation is generally vanilla. And then I remember those drunken parties over the years, and some where we pashed in front of others. And that leads me to think that maybe, just maybe she’s not as shy or unexperimental as she wants us to believe.

So, in thinking about my friends and whether they are vanilla or not, I would say that primarily they are, but experimental also. I think about the type of relationship that I’m in now and wonder if I could ever tell them. I wouldn’t tell P, I don’t think. Why? Did you read her reaction to getting my nipples pierced? Well, imagine her reaction to me telling her that I prefer plastic cock to real cock. Or if I told her I love to be hurt and bruised, my ears tortured so much that the next day they are constantly throbbing (even if only a little). Or that when He has His cock in me, He’s not making love to me, or having sex with me, He’s not even fucking me….He’s masturbating in me. Somehow, I don’t think it’s probably the best idea to disclose that all to P.

Would I tell K? I don’t know how much I would tell her. To be honest, if I was drunk enough I’d probably think ‘fuck it’ and tell her everything (although that hasn’t happened yet). But I believe there would be parts that I would disclose and others I wouldn’t (at least until I knew what her reaction was to the other, more tame things I’m into). Would I tell R, no. She doesn’t even know I have my nipples pierced (a purposeful choice on my behalf not to tell her). Everyone would know if I told her. And we’ve since had a falling out and no longer talk. So no, I wouldn’t tell her. (Funny how not long after I started writing this, she contacted me.)

So where are all my kinky friends?


  1. Hello Lucy...I recently came across your blog, I'm new to this site and looking for some friends :D I understand what you mean about your friends...needless to say none of mine know either. At least not to an extent. They know I wear dog collars...they know there is some kind of power dynamic outside of the norm. They don't inquire...I think they know, AND I know, that they couldn't handle knowing the truth. lol. Maybe you need a different set of friends. Friends to be "Normal" with (the ones you have already) and friends you can be open with about your situation, so that you don't have to feel like you're always hiding yourself. It might be refreshing. I hope that was helpful in some way...I hope to hear from you.

  2. Your kinky friends are right here! ; )

    I know what you mean about who can you tell certain things to. It's hard to figure out and I always err on the side of caution.


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