HNT - Confidence

After losing 32kg (70.5lbs), I finally feel sexy naked and confident enough in how I look to share this picture (which bares much more of me than I have shown previously). Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Check out who else participated in HNT this week.

* The only alteration I have made to this photo is removing identifying marks in order to protect my anonymity.

Damp Down Under

It's been two and a half months since I went off the pill and had the implant put in. Since then, I haven't had any of the following: periods, cramps, nausea and (the best one) pms. However, when I was on the pill, a week beforehand I would be incredibly horny. Now that I have the implant, I don't have this week.

I'm horny for four out of four weeks in a month. Yes, all four. Although I'm not super, mega, heavy duty horny all the time (like I was in the week beforehand), I am always aroused and ready for sex.

I couldn't calculate, in a day, the amount of time I spend touching my clit or playing with my lips, or casually dipping in the tip of a finger. My hands have a mind of their own. I'll be watching TV and become aware of the hand between my legs, curiously & quietly masturbating. Every single time I wake up through the night I am wet, and one of my hands is between my legs, rubbing my clit.

I am constantly aroused.

I am the typical teenage boy in a woman's body. Yes, I do fantasise about women, but that's not what I mean. As a result of my state of arousal, I'm always thinking about sex. Fantasising about trying new things; thinking of different ways to seduce Him; thinking about how I could take advantage of the situation and masturbate. However much I love being aroused and thinking about sex, it's devilishly frustrating at times.

So if it were my choice, how often would I want it? Sex, I would want daily. Hell, what am I talking about if's for? I do want it everyday! Okay, so if it were my choice, how often would I actually get it? Daily, preferably in the mornings or afternoons (that's my thing at the moment). I hear you ask about masturbation? Daily as well :-)

If you were as horny as often and for as long as I am, wouldn't you take advantage of the it? I bet you would ;-)

Love HNT Part II

*Click*

I'm back with the second and final part of my 'Love' pics. I thought I would have more to use then I ended up with, but given that I've been taking these all with the self-timer it's certainly time consuming (and a tad frustrating) when you can't see the shot until it's been taken! The click through on this is my absolute favourite out of all the photos I took, hence why I left it to last :-)

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday! And remember to see who else got half-nekkid!

Return to HNT

I felt like joining in this week and showing off a healthier looking me. I'm much more confident these days, and although I still have a way to go to reach my goal weight, I love what I see in the mirror. Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday everyone!

Don't forget to see who else participated this week.

*And thanks again to Alec (Coy Pink's hubby) who helped me touch up this pic by photoshopping out my stained garage floor.

Mini goals of 2008

There have been certain points during my weight loss that I consider to be mini goals. These are personal goals. But these are different from my goals of weighing a certain amount. I’m sure there are some that I’m not even aware of, but these are the ones I am.

- Fitting into a pair of denim shorts that I couldn’t wear because they were too tight (even better that when I thought to try them on, they didn’t just fit, they were considerably loose).

- Fitting into a funky & long denim skirt that had long since been too small because of my chunky thighs. After wearing it for the last time (comfortably) about 6 or 7 years ago, managing to get it over my thighs was more than a joyous occasion.

- Trying on a very nice top of mine that I hadn’t even worn in public, and realising I was swimming in it. This was a sad moment for me.

- Trying on yet another top (night-wear, black & flow-y with rhinestones and cleavage friendly) and desperately realising that never again would I wear this top I loved so much. A top that I couldn’t salvage by taking it in because it was just too damn big on me. This was more of a loss than the previous one. Seriously, it’s hot, and I can’t wear it any more! It’s still hanging in my wardrobe. As is the one previously mentioned.

- Buying a denim mini skirt (or a mini-skirt of any sort for that matter) that fit me and I looked good in. This is my favourite piece of clothing.

- Pulling up at a set of lights and looking down at my feet, noticing how much smaller my thighs were.

- Going back home for Christmas and trying on my semi-formal dresses (15yrs) and my formal (prom) outfit (17yrs) (top and skirt) was another one of these moments. My first semi-formal dress (with tags still attached) I slipped on, looked in the mirror and just beamed. It’s not the nicest of dresses, but this was the one I first chose and then went with another because a) it was a nicer colour and b) it hid my fat better. I looked at the size tag and my jaw dropped in shock. “Was I really that big at 15?” A smile for where I am today, and an ache in my heart for where I was then. A smile for the person I am today, and that ache for who I was then.

- My second semi-formal dress, although as nice as the day I bought it, I was disappointed that it hid my shape. (Yeah go figure, back then it did just what I wanted it to, now…not so much). Although maybe this one I could get taken in.

- My formal outfit was next. It wasn’t until I got my professional photo’s back after formal that I realised (but stuck my head in the sand about) how unflattering it made me look. The photos were taken and my top had bunched up under my boobs, and as any big girl knows, this is not a flattering look. My mum even said (when she first saw the photos) “Oh he (the photographer) should have noticed that and told you to fix it up”. (I love my mum, and I never took this as an insult or anything like that, I still don’t. I understand wholly what she meant when she said it). I buried my head in the sand thinking “yeah he should have” while looking at every other part of the photo and then looking away. “If it wasn’t for that part, I’d look beautiful” was my line of thinking. Anyway, 5yrs down the track, I look at the size tag, surprised it’s the same size I am now (even though I’m 7kg lighter now) and I try it on. The first thing I look at is my boobs. “Holy shit have they shrunk!” (smiles) Next my torso area. “Hang on, it’s loose around there. I distinctly remember having to hold my stomach muscles in when I sat down, but now I don’t have to”. Next was how pretty it was, well it still is. Only been worn once. It really is a lovely outfit. Pretty mauve colour, chiffon on the outside. Ahh…the memories :-)

- And that brings me to my latest mini goal. Tonight I was in the bathroom getting changed when I looked in the mirror at my torso. “No fucking way! There is no fucking way! I must be seeing things. I have to be!” Switch on the light. Fluorescent public changing room light, my long-time foe, we meet again. I looked closer, hoping and wishing that I wasn’t just seeing things; and for once my enemy would do me good not harm. For tonight, I, for the first time ever (that I can remember) have a torso line! (Can I hear the applause?) I. Have. A. Torso. Line. I (casually) raced out to the lounge room where he was watching TV and stood there until he looked at me (not that long, thank goodness) and said “Check this out!” as I pointed and explained. He looked, smiled and congratulated me. He didn’t say it, but I’m pretty sure I could see pride in his eyes.

What Santa Sees Through My Window....

Clickity-Click!!

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Don't forget to check out Os and see who else has participated this week. And check out the themes for the coming 2 week's.

Ps - Check out my friend's HNT for this week.

HNT Kisses

Given my weight loss, I've had to buy some new knickers (no really, it's not just an excuse!)
Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Legs Eleven

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday to you all!

This is another still shot taken from the jerk movie I made for Daddy last week. I've been trying to decide between this and another pic for today's HNT, but obviously this one won out! :)

And thanks to everyone who's posted comments on my previous HNT's! I was unsure about last week's photo, but Daddy insisted it was a good one to put up. So thanks to you all, not just for commenting, but for boosting my ego that little bit more and telling me it was a sexy pic! I really appreciate it.

Lucy

Ps - Greg and Sheryl, at this stage no, I don't have any plans to post my jerk movies. Sorry.

My Hairy Bits

Okay, so I've talked about the fact that I have body hair in places that most other women don't. I was reluctant initially to write about the face that I don't shave the hair under my arms or on my legs. Now, I choose to write about it openly and freely. If anyone reading doesn't like it, I don't care. Because I do, and this is my blog.

So why do I keep my hair? At first, I deliberately didn't shave because Master loves hairy women. When I was younger I was lazy (and shaving your legs is difficult when you wear glasses and can't see 3 inches in front of your face without them). But what about now? Well, now I choose not to shave for many reasons.

1) It is rather difficult to see what you're doing in the shower without glasses. (Yes I know there are ways to get around this, but this just really gives me the shits).

2) One of His fetishes is hairy women. He loves seeing a beautiful woman with armpit and leg hair. Which leads me to number 3.

3) Because of His fetish and watching video's and looking at pictures of hairy women, it's now one of my fetishes. It's funny how this one seems to sneak up on you. One day you look at a woman with hair on her legs or under her arms and you think 'oh yeah, another hairy woman' and then the next time you look you go 'ooh, hairy woman. nice'. And it's at that moment that you think to yourself 'hang on. when did that change?'

4) I love the look of hairy women. It's especially nice to see a beautiful woman with milky white skin and dark hair. The contrast between her skin colour and hair colour is just gorgeous. In saying that though, I do love seeing a hairy red-headed woman. Love red hair. (Perhaps something to do with loving my own red hair. Us red-heads have to stick together!)

5) I love to look at my hair and feel my hair. It turns me on. Playing with the hair under my arms, twirling them around my fingers. Feeling them with my whole hand. Going into the bathroom and lifting my arm, admiring how long they're getting, how thicker they're looking. Running my hands over my legs, feeling the difference in coarseness between the hair on my ankles to the hair just above my knees. Feeling my hair? Sweetness.

Yesterday, because I love my hair so much, I gave myself a treat. It was time for a shower and I needed to wash the hair on my head. That got me thinking. 'I wonder if I shampoo and condition all my hair, will that make it softer?' So that's exactly what I did.

Now I love having a shower or bath anyway. To me, I feel my sexiest when I'm in the shower. There's just something about the water cascading all over my body that just makes me feel so utterly feminine and sexy like nothing else does. So yesterday my shower was even better than normal. I shampooed and rinse the hair on my head. Then put the conditioner in. I like to leave it sit there for awhile (makes it softer). So while that's working away, I shampoo and rinse both underarms. I continue down and shampoo and rinse the hair that's on my cunt and around my arsehole. Then I continue by doing the same on my legs. I come back up and condition my armpit hairs. I want them to be extra soft like the hair on my head goes, so I put my arms back down and let it sit there for awhile while I continue.

I condition and rinse my cunt and arse hair, and spend a fair amount of time doing the same with my legs. Mmmm...any excuse now to feel how hairy I am. I rinse the conditioner from underneath my arms and from my head. I hop out and lazily and slowly dry myself off. I condition my face and put on some mascara. I'm feeling the sexiest woman in the world at this moment. I pull out my light chocolate lipstick and apply it. I pucker my lips and make a kissing sound. I blot my lips on a tissue and I pucker and kiss again.

I stand in front of the mirror, half side-on, half full frontal, and I look gorgeous. How hot do I look? If I wasn't me, and I saw me...I'd want to fuck me.


Later in the evening, we were sitting in the lounge room. Him on the recliner, me on the floor leaning against the other one. I turn towards Him, and place my right leg on the chair. "Feel my leg" I say. He places his hand on my shin. "Which part of your leg?" I shake my head. "No feel my leg. Feel it. Like you normally feel it, rub your hand up and down". He does so. "Does it feel any different I ask?" He replies "Maybe a bit coarser. Why?" "Well I got thinking today and you're going to laugh but that's okay. I wondered what it would be like to shampoo and condition all my hair. So I did. And considering you feel my legs more than I do I wondered your opinion."

Master told me, after we both masturbated to hairy women that I inspire Him to jerk. My hair, inspires Him to jerk. (Big happy smiles on this face).

So the verdict on shampooing and conditioning all my body hair? My legs seem more coarse as Master said, but He also said He didn't mind which way they came, He'd still feel them. My armpit hair? I like it both ways. It stands out more now; it doesn't lie flat too much. Cunt hair? take it or leave it, it's much of a muchness. (Plus, once it's long enough to wax, it's gone).

Will I do this all again? Yes, I definitely will. Obviously there's a subtle difference in leg hair, but it doesn't bother Him and I touch my armpit hair more than He does, so I probably won't be doing it for His benefit. I'll do it for mine. A treat for myself, a bit of self-pampering. And what girl doesn't love to feel pampered? Ultimately though, the sexier and more confident I feel, the more He benefits. So, in a round-a-bout way I will be doing it for His benefit.

Off-limits

I find it quite interesting that I have an adult blog which I have discussed and posted my thoughts on many subjects. I feel free to discuss such things as: my submission to my Master, His control over me, anal sex, fisting, my fantasies, spanking, discipline, pissing etc. However, there are some topics that even for me, someone who considers herself very open to new possibilities and very open-minded, I think twice about posting about. I even thought twice before admitting about our masturbation lifestyle.

In today’s society, where fetishes are becoming more and more accepted, I still think twice before posting on some topics. But why, when sexual practices are less taboo than they used to be, do I hesitate on sharing my thoughts about some things? Because even though we have become more accepting towards others and their ‘interests’, some topics, I feel, are still off limits, and that I might be judged in a negative manner should I talk openly about them. None the less, that’s what I’m about to do.

Two topics in particular that I still feel have negative connotations are animal sex, and female body hair. Let these two topics sink in, and think about how you feel about them. Is it negatively or positively?

Maybe they don’t interest you, maybe they turn you on, and maybe they repulse you. But these are two topics that I could have posted about many times and haven’t. And I haven’t because honestly, I worry that I might get negative comments about what I say or that what I say would turn some readers away from coming back and reading my blog. Sure I could delete the comments (which I don’t want to do) or not write about them (which I have been doing), but I think today is as good a day as any to change that.

I’m not saying that I’ve had sex with animals, but it is a fantasy of mine. Whether I act on this or not in the future is irrelevant, because up until this point I haven’t felt comfortable admitting here that this is one of my fantasies and something that does turn me on. I’m not talking about animals in general or saying that I want to try having sex with as many male animals as I can, but I do fantasise about having sex with dogs and to a lesser extent horses. That’s as far as it goes with me, but everyone is different and I’m sure there are others out there that would want to try it with more than just a dog or a horse, and that’s cool.

Now onto female body hair, the other topic that I haven’t felt comfortable discussing here before now. We as women are taught from a young age that it is not beautiful or feminine to be sporting hairy armpits, legs, or facial hair. This is what razors are for, to get rid of that unsightly hair and thus be more appealing to the opposite sex.

Now I’m not a big one for facial hair on women, and I don’t have to worry about this, but there are women out there who do. It is their choice as to whether they keep this or get remove it, and I support their decision. The same goes for armpit and leg hairs as far as I’m concerned. It is a woman’s personal choice if she wants to keep it or remove it.

For me, I’m not being lazy when I don’t shave my legs. It’s a chore for me. I can’t see much clearly without my glasses unless it’s within a few inches of my face. This makes shaving my legs a tiresome task with spots always missed. Sure when I was just hitting puberty the idea of finally being able to shave my legs was exciting, but back then I could see more than I can now, and I bought into the media’s idea of what beauty is determined by. Now on the other hand, it’s a different story.

I’m not a tree-hugging hippy feminist and I don’t burn my bras, but I prefer to have hair on my legs. Yes I do shave, but far infrequently than I’m told I should. I always used to shave my legs before Master came to visit, because I didn’t want him to see me as not being feminine enough. Now I don’t. Why? Well, yes it’s my choice, but it’s also something He loves. Yes you read that right, He loves my legs being hairy. He would much prefer to touch my legs when they are covered in hairy growth than when I’ve just shaved them. Why? It’s a fetish of His, this is just who He is, and I couldn’t be more happy about that. I get to be me, and He loves me all the more for that.

I haven’t shaved my legs in almost 8 months, and yes I’ve been through Winter, Spring and Summer like this (and soon to be Autumn). I used to be self-conscious about wearing anything other than jeans or long pants that didn’t cover my hair. I would worry that people were staring at my legs, assuming I was some kind of hippy or feminist or both. And I’m not saying being either of those things is bad, it’s just not the reason for me not shaving my legs. So what about now? How am I now going out in public not having hair free legs? I do it and I wear shorts and skirts and people can see I have hairy legs, but I don’t care. I stand tall and true to myself, because this is me. And if they want to look and think negatively about me, then I say “Go right ahead”. What they think or feel doesn’t affect me. I am me and I will continue to be me.

Armpit hair I do have, although I don’t let it get too long. An inch is the longest it’s been (and some of you are probably reading this and thinking “An inch…and that’s not too long?”). I don’t grow it any longer because of personal hygiene reasons, and that’s my choice. How does He like it? I hear you ask. Well, He’s the one who encouraged me in the first place. I wasn’t opposed to it, but I wasn’t exactly for it either. How times have changed. My armpit hair and leg hair turns Him on, which in turn, turns me on. So here I am, saying it loud and proud that I am a hairy woman. Will I change my mind down the track? Possibly, but then again I may not. As long as we’re both happy, then that’s all that matters really. What other people think and feel about my body hair, as I said before is irrelevant. I will continue being true to myself until the day I die. After all, it’s me that has to live with it. And it certainly isn’t my job to keep everyone happy. I do what makes me happy period.

Lucy