Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes

I have been working on this post for months now, but haven’t been satisfied enough with what I’ve written to publish it. My mind races with a million different thoughts that lead me down a million different paths, and that’s just one reason why this is so difficult. It’s hard to share what’s going on, when I’m still adjusting to it and working it out for myself.

It has been almost two years since I became sick and started losing weight. Almost two years that have been full of tears, determination, fears, sweat, uncertainty, self-doubt, pain, joy, happiness, adjustment and so much more. I am not the same person I was then. I couldn’t be with all the changes and everything that has happened.

As I write this, my total weight loss is 32kg (70.5lbs). I’ve lost 5 dress sizes and goodness only knows how many inches. These aren’t the only things I’ve lost; I’ve also lost my self-identity, self-consciousness, countless outfits that I adored and many other things. However, there are many things that I have gained over this time as well. A new self-identity, self-confidence that I have never known before, the freedom to walk into any clothing store and not having to worry about whether anything will fit me, and last but not least my health and knowing that I’ve added many more years to my life.

There are not enough words or enough space on my blog to explain all the ways I’ve changed (and no doubt you would be bored if I listed them all). However, I can share with you what all this has done for me. As clichéd as it sounds, this has been a big, long, eye-opening and extremely personal journey. I’ve done a lot of soul searching, a lot of thinking, and a mass of writing during this time. I’ve learnt and realised so much more about myself that I thought I would, and I’m better for it. I know myself, my emotions (and the reasons behind these) better than I ever have before. I believe I am a better me for going through this, because I have discovered the real and true me. I’m still adjusting to everything and probably will be for some time to come. After all, I haven’t reached my goal weight yet, but I am close.

Putting aside the obvious health benefits, the best part of this journey is how I now feel about myself. I never thought that I would be satisfied or content with being me. And many years ago I gave up on being the person I wanted to be. I had (grudgingly) accepted that I would always be fat and that that was just something I had to live with. How I feel about myself now, is something I only ever dreamed about, but never thought I would actually experience. For the very first time in my life, I can honestly say that I am truly happy with being who I am, with being me.

I am not perfect now that I’ve lost weight, and I never will be (but perfection is not my goal). I still have lessons to learn, and improvements to make and that’s okay. Just like it’s okay that there are physical aspects to my body that I would like to improve. However, if (for whatever reason) my body had to say the way it is right now, I would be content, I would be satisfied, but most of all I would be happy. I would be lying if I said that I found this easy. I haven’t. But to come out at the other end of this, knowing I’m a better (and healthier) version of me, is and has been worth it.

And it’s such a great feeling to finally feel sexy naked.

Differences: Now & Then

I hadn’t thought about it until I was having a conversation with a group of people whom I only had only met a couple of days earlier. One asked: “Do people treat you differently now?” Now meaning: that I am 25kg’s lighter and no longer fat.

I’ve thought about this a fair amount since that conversation. And because of it (the conversation), I’m now more aware of how people treat me. And I spend more time thinking about how they’ve treated me as well.

I work in Customer Service, customers are my job. I know how to properly greet you so that you’ll feel warm and welcome where I work. I’ll ask enough vague, but personal questions, and respond friendly enough, that you’ll feel that I’m familiar to you. And then I’ll do my job and send you on your way with a smile on my face and a promise to “See you next time!”

Because of my awesome skills to do all this ;-) and for it to be second nature, I critique others. Kinda. While I don’t rate them on a scale from say 1-10, I am critical of how I’m treated as a customer. I hate loathe it when people who are serving customers 1) Do not smile; 2) Do not have a personality of any sort (Come on! You’re nothing but a sponge in there?! Everyone has some kind of personality!); 3) Hold out their hand in anticipation of you paying them (A note to those of you that do this and are reading: This is just greedy. You’re going to get your (company’s) money, so just wait until I’m ready to give it to you. You wouldn’t have to put your hand up if I magically wished for the correct change, and I wouldn’t have to be served by you if my order was taken by a robot and my meal technologically appeared on the table just as I sat down. Look, just don’t fucking do it! And the same goes for customers who do this. Did you leave your manners at home today?); 4) Act as though I’m annoying you and stopping you from being somewhere way more important. (To my readers that fit this description: This is your job. You do this, to earn money so you can go out and buy the latest craze 15 and 16 yr olds are into today. Yes, these are the teenagers, which CLEARLY have better and more important places to be. You have a job to do. Do it. Period. And if you are that person, leave now. This is an adult blog intended for adults only.) More things annoy me, but I’m slightly off track, so I’ll get back to my point.

I hate to say it, but yes, I am treated differently now. Now that I’m not fat. Now that my figure is hourglass and not round. Now that I don’t have the start of a double chin.

Okay, so I’m easier on the eye now. But does that really deserve you treating me better than when I was 25kg’s heavier? No, no it does not. I didn’t treat you any differently when I was fat. I’ve been in customer service for 5yrs now, and I know how to be a good customer, and I know how to be a good customer service representative. I am a good customer to everyone, until something you do or say makes me feel less happy. Simple as that, you all start at the same level, where I am my friendly, nice, happy self, but if you do one of those things mentioned above, I will think twice about how big I smile or if I even smile when I leave. (Clearly the holding out the hand thing is something that really pisses me off, so that’s an instant explosion down to “Oh she didn’t!” and you get nothing more from me.)

I could understand this if I was in the US, but here we don’t rely on tips. In fact, I’ve never tipped anyone in my life. Nor have I been in the presence when someone has. And I have never been tipped at work. So why is it, that I’m being treated better now that my waistline is smaller, but my smile and attitude are just as wide and friendly as ever? I don’t know. Maybe for guys it’s the question of “Can I get her to flirt with me?” (Men, guys, feel free to leave me your thoughts, even if you don’t work in customer service. Why would any male treat me better now?). And I don’t know about the girls. Maybe the whole bitchiness aspect comes into it somehow. I just can’t see what’s in it for them to be nicer to one person (i.e. thinner me) than another (i.e. fat me).

If anyone can enlighten me, please do, because I’m at a loss to see what it could be that’s causing them to be nicer to me now. Are all people really that shallow? Is it even a conscious decision?

*I must note that although I focused more on how I’m treated as a customer, strangers on the street are friendlier towards me now that I’m thinner. Just in case you were wondering.

Would love to hear some feedback on this one! Pretty please??

A Happier me

I’ve always been fat/plump/chubby. Whatever you want to call it, I’ve always been noticeably overweight. I remember back to first grade (5 turning 6yrs old) and she’s there. She’s part of my memories, my history, my past. We were the best of friends, and throughout our friendship she has always been the pretty, popular one. She was the pretty girl with blue eyes and blonde hair; I was her redheaded, chubby best friend. This, I’ve always been aware of. Long before I should have, I had body issues.

Looking back, given what I ate everyday (almost the same lunch for years on end), it really is no surprise that I was overweight. One such food was a particular brand of full fat cheese. This, I ate at least for breakfast & lunch and snacked on during the day for the majority of my life (including all my school years). This cheese I now turn down. Sometimes I get a craving for it, and then I think of the last time I ate it and how it didn’t taste as yummy as it once did. So I decide no to get some. I am very proud of myself for that.

When I started on this path of my life, I was pessimistic that it would be too hard and I wouldn’t be able to lose the weight. I was excited at the idea of changing my life, my health, and my (self-loathing) appearance. I was hopeful that I would succeed and make my life better. More than anything though, I was scared. I had reached a point where I knew things had to change, and that I had to change. And I was scared shitless that I would fail.

Being sick so badly and for so long was a blessing in disguise. It kick started my weight loss. Having glandular fever and gastroenteritis is no fun. Had I had a choice, I would have rather have not been sick and lost the weight slower. However, that’s the hand life dealt me, and I played on.

I’m surprised and still don’t really believe that I’ve lost 22kg (48.5lbs). I went clothes shopping with my mum the other day and immediately and subconsciously gravitated towards the fat section. I no longer fit into these clothes, but because for so long that’s all I could fit into, my legs take me there automatically.

22 kilograms! I understand that I’ve lost weight and my appearance has changed because of that, but the number + me losing that much just doesn’t compute. I look at photographs of me, even from a year ago, and I no longer see me. I know it’s me, but that’s who I WAS. I’m so different now. I am a new person. I am a new and improved version of me.

I no longer cringe when someone wants me in a photograph, and my smile is no longer fake. Perhaps I’ve become a little vain, but I think I’ve bloody well earned it after all the fat years I went through. I can now feel good about myself, because I am healthy and my appearance is more appealing (to me).

I have lost 4 to 5 dress sizes! Clothes shopping is no longer an issue for me. And clothes that I was wearing just a year ago are way too big. I put on a top the other day that I used to wear all the time. It now hangs off me. I mean, you wouldn’t even know I had a figure wearing this fucking tent thing.

As of yesterday, my BMI has significantly changed. I’m no longer classed as obese, now I’m just overweight. I simply cannot describe how good this feels. Those of you that are reading this that have experienced it will know what I’m talking about. And those of you out there that are on your way to experiencing it, I strongly encourage you to keep going. Take it from someone who’s there, it feels awesome & no one can take that away from you.

This morning I took my measurement. Inches have been lost since the last time, but I haven’t been diligent with keeping a record. Suppose I probably should have, but oh well what’s done is done. From taking these measurements, I now know I have one inch (yes, just one) to lose off my waist and I will officially have an hourglass figure. I’ve never really had a particular figure, other than fat, so it’s pretty exciting.

My New Bum

Here's me, modelling a pair of knickers that I bought a couple of weeks ago.
Talk about super comfy! :-)

I've titled this 'My New Bum' because that's what I've got. Since I've been losing weight, it's amazed me the shape different parts of my body have taken. More to the point that the shape I am now (and will become when I lose more and reach my goal) is MY shape. This is my figure. *big grins*

I'm loving my body so much more, yes because I am smaller, but moreso because I'm now healthier (and recent blood tests have proven this :-) ). I can't tell you how much happier I am with myself now. Again, yes it's because I'm smaller, I won't lie about that. I am much happier about my looks now. But that's not all it is, not by far. I have a newfound confidence in myself. But really, it's the little things that because I've never experienced before, I didn't know how good it could be. Like it not being an effort to get up off the floor (try doing that when you're classed as obese on the bmi). It's little shit like that, that you don't even notice until it's been happening for awhile. Or how I can now walk in the shopping centre with Him and not struggle to keep up with His pace (and sometimes even being ahead). He's over 6 foot tall and I'm only 5 foot 4.

Anyway, now that I've gotten off topic......Hope you enjoy the photo as much as I'm enjoying my new shape and, of course, my new bum! :-D


*If you don't want to take my word for it, check out my previous pics of my bum. I'm sure you'll be able to see the difference.

Thinking about my breasts...

I was wearing a C cup bra when I started high school. By the end of grade 10 I was endowed with a D. And graduation saw me with a DD cup.

I bought bras a couple of months ago in a C cup (the same size as when I was 13 years old) and I've noticed that I now have quite a bit of room in these. Is it possible that I may be looking at a life of B cup bras?

This just blows my mind!

I'm working on it

I have changed.

My thoughts have changed.

More specifically, my thoughts about myself have changed.

I am no longer afraid to look in the mirror. I am no longer afraid to catch a glimpse of myself in a store window. I don’t shy away from looking at myself. In fact, I take great advantage of our bathroom mirror while washing my hands after a visit to the loo, or when I’m getting dressed. And I’m not ashamed to admit that in that way, I’m a little vain :-)

How I look at and think about myself now is how I always believed I should, but never did. I was the fat kid growing up. I was the fat best friend of the most popular girl in school. I look back on photos of me as a kid and although I don’t cringe, one of the first things I take note of is my weight. And it’s not just childhood photos.

Prime example: The first year I got a job (18yrs) was the first year I didn’t have to borrow money to buy anyone Christmas presents. Boy, was that an achievement. I wanted something special, something meaningful, and something that would be remembered for awhile to come. I decided I wanted to get some professional photos taken of me. I organised it all, including getting my best friend to take me and stay/help throughout, because I didn’t have my licence yet (let alone my own car). She was even nice enough later to come pick me up and come over with me to decide which ones I wanted to buy for the family. I was so organised that when I paid for it, I had a grand total of $5 left in my account (okay, so I was on my way to really being organised, but at least I didn’t have to ask my friend for money).

Anyway, I’m getting off track. They were a hit Christmas Day and they all loved their presents (each of them received a different photo I’d picked out especially). Two of these photos are still hanging on the wall at mum’s. Which leads me to why I started this (longer-than expected) example. I noticed them on the wall when I was back home for Christmas a couple of weeks ago. I took one look and screwed my nose up “Eww….fat photos!” I cringed. I wasn’t my heaviest when those photos were taken (just over 4 years ago), but they’re still fat photos to me. (Interestingly enough, the one I gave mum, which she keeps in her bedroom, was/is my favourite from all the photos taken. This one photo I don’t see and think I’m fat, nor do I cringe. Nope, not with this one. I look at it and all I do is smile and think ‘I really am beautiful’. It is one of those few photos taken over my life that I love to my core).

Okay, so I still have what I call fat photos. I still look at them and cringe. But it is my hope that one day I can look at these and not. That one day I’ll see them and I won’t hate the person looking back at me. I still have fat photos because I still hate myself for allowing my weight to get where it was. I still hate myself for allowing my health to get to the point it was.

I’m learning to love myself, and I think I do a little better each day. That portion of me that loathes how easy it was to be in denial about such an important problem, is shrinking. Just as that portion of me that loves how much I’ve taken control of this problem, is expanding.

I’m working on it. I’m working on treating myself better, and being a better me.

Mini goals of 2008

There have been certain points during my weight loss that I consider to be mini goals. These are personal goals. But these are different from my goals of weighing a certain amount. I’m sure there are some that I’m not even aware of, but these are the ones I am.

- Fitting into a pair of denim shorts that I couldn’t wear because they were too tight (even better that when I thought to try them on, they didn’t just fit, they were considerably loose).

- Fitting into a funky & long denim skirt that had long since been too small because of my chunky thighs. After wearing it for the last time (comfortably) about 6 or 7 years ago, managing to get it over my thighs was more than a joyous occasion.

- Trying on a very nice top of mine that I hadn’t even worn in public, and realising I was swimming in it. This was a sad moment for me.

- Trying on yet another top (night-wear, black & flow-y with rhinestones and cleavage friendly) and desperately realising that never again would I wear this top I loved so much. A top that I couldn’t salvage by taking it in because it was just too damn big on me. This was more of a loss than the previous one. Seriously, it’s hot, and I can’t wear it any more! It’s still hanging in my wardrobe. As is the one previously mentioned.

- Buying a denim mini skirt (or a mini-skirt of any sort for that matter) that fit me and I looked good in. This is my favourite piece of clothing.

- Pulling up at a set of lights and looking down at my feet, noticing how much smaller my thighs were.

- Going back home for Christmas and trying on my semi-formal dresses (15yrs) and my formal (prom) outfit (17yrs) (top and skirt) was another one of these moments. My first semi-formal dress (with tags still attached) I slipped on, looked in the mirror and just beamed. It’s not the nicest of dresses, but this was the one I first chose and then went with another because a) it was a nicer colour and b) it hid my fat better. I looked at the size tag and my jaw dropped in shock. “Was I really that big at 15?” A smile for where I am today, and an ache in my heart for where I was then. A smile for the person I am today, and that ache for who I was then.

- My second semi-formal dress, although as nice as the day I bought it, I was disappointed that it hid my shape. (Yeah go figure, back then it did just what I wanted it to, now…not so much). Although maybe this one I could get taken in.

- My formal outfit was next. It wasn’t until I got my professional photo’s back after formal that I realised (but stuck my head in the sand about) how unflattering it made me look. The photos were taken and my top had bunched up under my boobs, and as any big girl knows, this is not a flattering look. My mum even said (when she first saw the photos) “Oh he (the photographer) should have noticed that and told you to fix it up”. (I love my mum, and I never took this as an insult or anything like that, I still don’t. I understand wholly what she meant when she said it). I buried my head in the sand thinking “yeah he should have” while looking at every other part of the photo and then looking away. “If it wasn’t for that part, I’d look beautiful” was my line of thinking. Anyway, 5yrs down the track, I look at the size tag, surprised it’s the same size I am now (even though I’m 7kg lighter now) and I try it on. The first thing I look at is my boobs. “Holy shit have they shrunk!” (smiles) Next my torso area. “Hang on, it’s loose around there. I distinctly remember having to hold my stomach muscles in when I sat down, but now I don’t have to”. Next was how pretty it was, well it still is. Only been worn once. It really is a lovely outfit. Pretty mauve colour, chiffon on the outside. Ahh…the memories :-)

- And that brings me to my latest mini goal. Tonight I was in the bathroom getting changed when I looked in the mirror at my torso. “No fucking way! There is no fucking way! I must be seeing things. I have to be!” Switch on the light. Fluorescent public changing room light, my long-time foe, we meet again. I looked closer, hoping and wishing that I wasn’t just seeing things; and for once my enemy would do me good not harm. For tonight, I, for the first time ever (that I can remember) have a torso line! (Can I hear the applause?) I. Have. A. Torso. Line. I (casually) raced out to the lounge room where he was watching TV and stood there until he looked at me (not that long, thank goodness) and said “Check this out!” as I pointed and explained. He looked, smiled and congratulated me. He didn’t say it, but I’m pretty sure I could see pride in his eyes.

I'm back, better than ever

Hey everyone.
I see by my statcounter that you're all still coming back and checking up on me. So thank you for that. I know I've been a bit slack in posting, but life got a little bit depressing there not too long ago. I've bounced back after my sadness and sickness and I present to you a new and improved Lucy. (Sorry to disappoint, no picture today).

I am pleased to announce that both Daddy and I are no longer sick. I've been a bit under the weather this week, but that's pretty much gone now. And it certainly helped being treated to two (yes two!) sessions of watching Him masturbating last night. Like the good little girl I am, I put my mouth and tongue to good use and was rewarded with my own masturbation session :-D. I have to say that I got a real confidence boost last night when I asked Him if I could put my tongue to use...His response? "Not yet slut. I don't want to cum yet". I smiled and asked "Am I THAT good?" He smiled at me, jerked His hard cock a little faster and simply said "yes". *contented sigh* Not to mention the fact that He made mention of whoring me out to do just that...lick and suck on other men's balls while they jerk. Now, if that's not a recommendation of my talent, I don't know what is!

We got back into the swing of things this past weekend....You know you've had an awesome weekend of sex when you wake up Monday morning and don't want to move. Mmm...the residual pain of where He was biting me. I really do love the pain. *contented sigh again*

On a slightly different note, I have lost more weight. I know in my last post talking about my weight, I said that I wasn't going to refer to it as losing it, as I didn't want to find it again, and even though that's true (that I don't want to find it again), I'm going to still refer to it as my weight loss. It sounds funny calling it anything else. So now that we've got that sorted...for the good news. I've lost more weight, which brings me to a total of 17kgs (or 37.5lbs) gone. I did my measurements yesterday and from the last time I did them I've lost 7cms from my waist, not sure about my hips or bust (can't remember what they were), but they've definitely gotten smaller. So, I'm getting sexi-er! (big grins) I was a DD cup, now I think I'm down to about a C (although haven't been fitted to check that). I am now halfway through this journey. I'm halfway to my goal. And I'm pretty damn proud of myself!

I'm happy, and I'm confident. I can now walk down the street with my head held high and not be so self-conscious. I no longer walk down the street thinking that people are looking at me just because of the amount of space I take up (it's a sad thought, but yes, that's how I used to be). Now, I think one of two things... 1) They're just looking at me; or 2) They're checking me out. In saying that I'm not trying to be egotistical or anything, I'm just looking and feeling much, much better. Like the fact that when I give someone a hug now (be it Daddy or a friend), I don't feel like they're struggling to hug me (not that they really were struggling; I just felt big). Now, I don't feel like I'm taking up too much space, I'm happy and contented. And looking forward to reaching my goal weight.

Now, onto something a little different. I got side-tracked there and wanted to spill about my weight loss that I forgot to mention this before. Daddy's handing the reins over to me for a night. Yes, I am going to be trying my hand at being the one in control. I have to say that my mind has been wandering and ticking over, thinking of all the things I can (and probably will) do to Him. I've been brainstorming and well, let's just say, I think we're both going to have a helluva lot of fun. (Well, I'm pretty sure I will...you know the adrenaline of something new and different and exciting. And I hope He's going to have fun too).

Anyway, I'm going to head off now. You know how it is...things to do, places to go etc.
Have a good one and Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday to you all!

EDIT: I went bra shopping tonight and I am a C cup. I honestly can't remember the last time I was a C cup.

What's been happening in my world?

Alright, so not much has been going on here for awhile, apart from us being sick (yawn). It sucks that I haven't been able to post the usual sexy or hot posts about what we've gotten up to in the bedroom, but that's what happens when life (and sickness) gets in the way. Today, I've decided to do a re-cap (aka update) of what's been going on here.


I'm no longer sick (Thank fuck for that!) Unfortunately though, He is :-(

I've managed to score myself a job and I start next week. It's the same line of work that I was doing back home, so no need for stressing that I won't not what I'm doing in a new job (yay!)
It's still winter and it's still cold. However, I think I deserve a pat on the back(or a good-girl spanking *wink*) for giving Daddy topless cuddles a couple of nights ago and naked cuddles last night!

The weight loss has plateau-ed for the moment. I'm not gaining any of the weight that I've managed to shift (I won't say lose again, because that implies I can't find it, and I don't want to find it again lol). So, I'm gaining it, and I'm not losing any more. But that's okay. For the moment I'm quite content with where I am.

Last Friday I went shopping. After buying a pair of jeans after my initial start to shifting the weight (months ago), they are now too big for me (surprise, surprise). So my shopping was designated to finding a pair of jeans that I liked and fit me. This I did with surprising ease. I've always been a large girl, even as a kid. I've come accustomed to going to the 'big' section of clothing stores, hence why I LOATHE clothes shopping! It really is depressing when you're overweight. So anyway, I went into one store (yes, just one) and found a pair of jeans in the 'normal' section (read: non-'big'). They fit great and with room to spare in the waist! If I could have done cartwheels in the dressing room, trust me, I would have! Full of confidence in my new found jeans (in my new found size, which is 2-3 dress sizes smaller than what I was!!), I decided that I was going to splash out and buy a top as well. Found one in red, wasn't sure on the colour on me and opted to go for the black version. (Even though I've gotten rid of such weight, I'm still self-conscious and black is always more slimming, isn't it girls??) And the mention of buying the top leads me to my next update.

Earlier in the week (last week) Daddy and I had been invited out with some of His work colleagues for dinner and drinks on Friday night. Knowing that we were going out that night contributed to me buying the new top. So anyway, unfortunately Daddy was in a fair bit of pain all day and decided not to go, but wanted me to go anyway. I was disappointed that He wasn't coming (part of the reason I bought the new outfit was in hopes that a change of outfit i.e.. something new, might perhaps spark a little naughty fun). But I was still looking forward to going out.

I was the first to arrive (even though I was a little late myself). After most of us turned up (some came later) we got a table and settled in to drinkies and nibblies. Now, this was the first time that I had been out on the town here (I knew we'd head out dancing after drinks); it was also the first time I had been out with His work colleagues without Him (no big deal, they're all lovely women and really easy to talk to and comfortable to be around), but it was also going to be the first time that I had met a few of them (nerves starting kicking in a bit when I found out *after already being there* that people were coming that I didn't know). No need to worry though, got along with all of them great. I was the youngest, probably by about 20years, but it didn't even occur to me until the day after.

So I got to know them all a bit more, on a more personal level, rather than just being the 'girlfriend', which was really lovely. There wasn't an awkward moment the whole night and I had a great time! Couldn't believe how much the price of drinks had gone up since the last time I hit the town though (it had been a long time). I was the second one to leave (getting home just before midnight), as my feet were sore. Only a few years back I used to be able to crawl home after the clubs shut, after dancing ALL night and not even complain. Guess that's a sign I'm getting older huh? Daddy was in bed when I got home, and even though I was back, I wasn't tired enough to go to bed. So instead, I got changed, turned the heater on and played card games on the computer for almost two hours, then I went to bed (and froze my arse off, even though I was fully clothed, with socks and had brought a heat pack to bed with me for some warmth). Was shivering for quite some time before I fell asleep. And the next day I was running on 4hours sleep.

And just for a little extra, here's a couple of jokes that I heard from the girls that night, that I couldn't help but share.


What smells funny?

Clown Poo

Just naughty enough for a kid to get away with telling, but good enough that an adult can laugh at it as well. And the last one....definitely an adult only joke! (I'm laughing just thinking about it).


A woman comes home and find her husband furiously masturbating in the kitchen. She kneels in front of him and gives him the best blow job that he's ever had in his life. After he gets his breath back, he turns to her and says "What the fuck was that? We haven't had sex in over 6months, and then you go and do that!" To which her response was:


"Well. I'd rather clean my teeth than clean this fucking floor again!"

(Surely you're laughing at that one?!)

Have a good one.
Lucy

EDIT: Click here to check out Thursday's Child. She's got a give-away!

In sickness and in health...

I know it's been a little while since I've updated (it happens). We've been sick again (or is that still?). Life has been pretty shitty of late with both of us feeling unwell and on medication. I've been (a bit of) a bitch to live with (hormones...need I say more?) and I don't care what anyone says, when you're sick, you get grumpy. And when you're sick on and off for as long as I have been, you really do get the shits. If it's not one thing, it's another. And you get sad. You just want one day where you feel half decent. That day was today (for me, not him), but the weather here is glum and that's not really helping me feel better. And when he's not feeling good, it sucks. I hate that I can't help in any way (just as he hates it when he can't help me feel better).

On a slightly different (but not-so-different) note, I'm getting healthier. Yeah, I know that sounds strange given the rant I've just had on being sick, but I am. For health reasons, I need to lose weight. This is coming along nicely, and I'm pleased that I am starting to fit into old clothes of mine that have been too tight (for too long). I'm starting to look better and feel better (both physically and mentally).

I went shopping the other night, and was (extremely) pleased that for the first time, in god knows how long, I didn't have to go to the "big gals" section of clothing or underwear! And I now weigh less than what I did when I graduated from high school (big achievement, and the first weight-loss goal of mine).

So far, I've managed to lose (read: get rid of) 13.5kg (or 29.76lbs). It hasn't been easy at times, and I still eat crap (i.e. chocolate, chips etc), only now I eat less of it and know when I've had enough. Previously, I've heard people say "Nothing tastes as good as being healthy/skinny feels" and when I heard that I just thought "What a load of fucking shit! You can't tell me that it feels THAT good!". Well I can tell you it certainly does. And I honestly never thought that I would agree with them (how times have changed).

Now, apart from knowing I'm healthier, I'm going to live longer and I'm feeling better....what's the best part about my weight loss?

My confidence boost for sure. There really is nothing like losing weight (especially when it needs to be done) to give my ego a little kick in the right direction. I now walk down the street with a spring in my step. I no longer walk along looking at my feet, avoiding eye contact with people. I walk tall and proud, I make eye contact and I smile (that smile that He loves) and I know that I look good. (See...told you my ego's been given a boost. But not in a look-at-me/give-me-all-your-attention kinda way).

I'm not skinny, I'm still curvy and voluptuous. I know there are plenty of other women out there that have better figures than me, and are prettier than me. But you know what? I don't really care. Why? Because there always will be. I am not delusional in thinking I am the bees knees. I am not perfect and never will be perfect. However, I'm on my way to reaching my goals. I'm doing this for me and me alone. Sure it's great that I'm now better looking to Him (even though He's always loved me just the way I am). But ultimately, this is something I need to do for me.

I just can't wait until we're both feeling better so we can take advantage of my weight loss and have some awesome fun in the bedroom!