Thursday, November 22, 2007
I need to masturbate for Him, I need to watch Him jerk. I need to help Him by licking and sucking His balls while He pleases Himself, and I'm made to watch so very closely (not that I don't enjoy it, because I really do love it).
Maybe I am being needy, but it's torture being separated for this long. I hate not being around Him, and His dominance / my submission just isn't the same when we're apart.
My nipples are still quite sore from being pierced, but my breasts need to be played with and they need His rough touch. I need to be played with period. I need stimulation, and I need to feel like I'm His (more often than I do). There's only so long a slut can go without having her Master use her, and this slut has well and truly reached her limit.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
One of us would have the video camera and we would film ourselves masturbating for the other. When we were finished we would go and burn our session onto dvd and take this dvd and the camera to the other so that they could watch and then film themselves enjoying the show.
See, as much as I enjoy masturbating while He's watching and jerking, I get too easily distracted. I focus so much on what He's doing, that I don't even realise that I've stopped masturbating myself. Which is why I love watching Him and then masturbating after He's finished, thinking about what I've been so lucky to have just witnessed. Hence, where His latest idea came from. Plus, it also allows me to help when He wants, without interrupting what I'm doing.
The first masturbation would be for His benefit, so that I gave Him something to watch while He's jerking, so that I could entertain Him and make His jerk session better. But the second masturbation would be for my benefit, watching what I know He's just finished doing.
On the phone last night we were discussing this and He asked me if this is how I want it to be. And I said that although it would be nice to have that alone time, I wouldn't want it to be like this all the time, to have the personal touch taken away, by us not playing together. Occasionally perhaps, but not always.
My groans from fucking myself gave away just how enthusiastic I was about this idea. He knew that it was getting me hotter the more He spoke about it. He commanded me to come, thinking about it, and come I did.
He said: "The nastier and more perverted it is, the harder you come." And try as I might, I couldn't deny it. I was already cumming as He said this, but knowing this simple statement was the truth pushed me even further. It turned me on even more and I came again and again and again. It reinforced just how much of a slut I am. And He was right, the nastier and more perverted the subject we discuss or the act we participate in, the more turned on and wet I get. Not to mention that I have more orgasms and that they are more intense then, rather than when the subject or act is just standard or semi-nasty.
Oh, Master knows me so well. And as kinky, nasty, and perverted as I am, I know neither of us would want it any other way. It's the kink and the taboo nature of the topics and acts that turn us on so much, and make our sex life so interesting and appealing. Being where i've been now, I'm looking forward to where we're going, and I certainly never want to backtrack to being a vanilla girl.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
Kinky is using a feather; perverted is using the whole chicken.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances of a date on the weekend.
I sleep naked.
It ain't gonna lick itself.
Save your breath...you'll need it to blow up your date.
The only Bush I trust is my own. (For those of you in USA)
I am a slave.
These next ones are my favourites, and I've left the best to last.
Bondage is knot for everyone.
Guess where I'm pierced!
Pierced in places you'd love to lick!
It's hard to be humble when you're a whore.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Treat me like the slut I am.
WARNING! Protected by the Master!
I've been a dirty girl.
WARNING! Protected by a chastity belt!
Spankers do it over the knee.
And the one that I love the best....
If He doesn't spank me, how will I know better?
I'm sure some of you out there will find these just as amusing as I did. Just a shame I don't know where I found them online...otherwise I'd be ordering some, now that I have a car.
Hope you all have a lovely day/night.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Now I love a good old fashioned passionate kiss, but sometimes there's a different type of kiss that sometimes I want (and need). The gentle kiss a girl receives on her forehead is a kiss that I will never get sick of receiving.
This is another simple gesture like the last, but it is different. It's a caretaker's kiss. It's the kiss you give to someone to let them know that you will always be there to look after and look out for them.
To me, this type of kiss says:
"I'll look after you and look out for you. I'll keep you safe and always make sure that you are okay."
When I receive this kiss from Master, I know that although different from the passionate kisses, sometimes it means more. It's a loving kiss, a kiss to show me just how much he adores me. I feel safe, knowing He'll be there for me always. Always caring for me and making sure that I obtain what I need. And when I receive these kisses from Him, I feel more like His little girl than at any other time.
I know Master loves me and is in love with me, but this kind of kiss enforces that. And sometimes it's nice to let go of the D/s side of the relationship and get back to it just being us. Get back to just being a couple who love each other more than anything.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
During the last visit, there was something that Master kept doing that reassured my place, and reinforced the fact that He dominates me. Just something simple, but at the same time, it was and is so much more.
Most of the time we played together consisted of Him sitting at His computer, masturbating and watching videos that He's collected over the years. I sat to his right, masturbating, on a chair that was lower than His. Although I could see the computer screen, I wasn't sitting straight, I was angled towards Him.
During these times, we would alternate between watching each other and watching the videos on screen. Although most of the time I was watching Him.
The simple gesture that He continued to do throughout my stay was this: Instead of coming towards me and kissing me, He would move towards me, but grab hold of the back of my head or my hair and pull my face towards His. Or I would be looking at His face and He would grab me head or hair and push my head down so that I was looking between His legs, watching Him jerk.
Now I don't know about any other submissive's out there, but for me, it centred me. He put me back in my place, by this simple yet effective gesture.
I loved that He was being more forceful with me. As I said, we're both new to the D/s scene and to a certain extent still finding our feet. I think Master has done a great job, but this really hit the spot with me.
The emotions I felt when He did this was surprising. I felt compliant and submissive, while also feeling proud that He knew that I would obey Him. I was happy because He was enforcing His dominance over me. I felt anticipation as to what He would do next. I felt safe, being under His control. But more than all of these I felt content, because I knew that where I was at the moment was exactly where I should be, where I wanted to be, and that it was the right place for me.
Master, I ask that you continue putting me in my place by this simple gesture. Please.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Prior to the piercings, my nipples were rather dull in sensation. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved having my breasts and nipples played with, but it was almost as if they needed some serious coaxing to come out and play. And when the did come out to play, they must have got bored easy, as they never seemed to stay for very long. When approaching an orgasm they come out to say hello and stick around for a little while, but as soon as the show's over, well....the show is over and they've gone home. This is something that I honestly wished didn't happen, but alas I had no control over it, so I just accepted that my nipples weren't all that co-operative.
Now, on the other hand, it's a totally different story. I don't even have to be doing anything sexual for them to want to come out and play. In fact, I don't have to be doing anything period and they decide they want in on the action (even though nothing's going on).
Where I live it's spring, and summer is very fast approaching. And over the past few days it's been close to 40 celcius (104 Fahrenheit, for those of you who don't use celcius). Needless to say, the air conditioner and/or the fan has been turned on (at home and in the car) to try and cool the temperature down. But, in the process my two normally uninterested friends have decided that if they get a brush of cool air, then something's going on and they have to be in on it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I haven't written this post to have a whinge, it's just surprising to me that's all, that even the slighest temperature difference or the slightest touch, makes them respond in such an immediate and obvious way. Like today, when I was out shopping and noticed that a clothing store (for which I have a store card) had a sale where eveything (including stock already marked down) was 25% off all day. I went in and had a look around and decided to try some clothes on. I was wearing a medium thickness bra, not real padded, but not real thin like lace, and as soon as removing my top, my little soldiers are standing at attention, ready for orders.
Last night, I also admitted to Master that I had been finger-fucking myself quite a bit yesterday. This isn't entirely unusual, but normally I just play with clitty when I have the chance. I know my new piercings are the reason for my sudden rise in how horny I feel, but until someone other than me looks at the situation (from an outsider's perspective), I don't realise just how much of an affect they've had on me. Master kindly said, after my admission: "They're getting you off, aren't they slut?" To which I could only reply "yes".
I can't help but feel happy about having my nipples pierced. I've gone from having unco-operative nipples, to having nipples like little soldiers that stand to attention at the slightest of stimulation. Yes, I may have gone from one extreme to the other, but this extreme, I think, is better than what I had before :-D
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Prior to me visiting Master, I had suggested that (from my internet research) because it takes about 6 weeks for nipple piercings to heal, I should get them done on the next trip and that way they'd be healed (fingers crossed) and ready to play with for the following visit at Christmas. He thought this was a good idea and was pleased that I had thought this through as much as I had.
I knew that I wanted it done closer to the end of the visit, but not just before. This allowed me to still be able to play with my nipples for the main part fo my visit, but also for me to get used to having them pierced before I had to come home. I knew that I would be in a bit of pain and that they would be more sensitive than normal, so I wanted a few days to adjust prior to travelling home.
It was delayed slightly due to tiredness and nervousness. Master was tired after a long day and went to have a snooze and woke up later (after the tattooist had closed) and remembered that we were going to go have them done that afternoon. I hadn't forgotten, but as we'd had a long day, I didn't want to push the issue and I was also quite nervous about having them done.
The previous day, Master had to go out for a little while, so I took this opportunity to ring the tattooist and find out the details (how much it was going to cost, was the jewellery included, how is it done etc). On D-day, we went into town, and as He was driving, I was mentally preparing myself for what was to come. Now, I'm no stranger to pain, I have more than one tattoo and 6 other piercings, but I just knew this was going to hurt.
As we're driving into town He says: "Have you thought about which one you want done more? In case the first one hurts too much and you don't want to go through with the second one?" To which my reply was something along the lines of: "No, not really. Because I know that if I chicken out and don't got through with the second one there and then, I'll probably never go back and have it done. So no, I'm having them both done, so it doesn't matter which one is done first."
So we go into the tattooist and look around the walls at all the tattoo options - we did this partly to look at what was available, but also because the staff were busy at the time. After awhile I spoke to one of the guys, telling him I wanted my nipples pierced and he asked when I wanted them done. Because I was as nervous as I was my immediate response was "Now." Which in hindsight, was extremely rude, and I felt really bad about that. He explained that now wasn't an option because of how busy they were, but if we could come back in an hour or so, He could do it then. At some point here, he asked whether I wanted a male or female to do it, and I said it didn't bother me. I said okay to coming back later and that's when we left and headed to a cafe for Master to have coffee and cheesecake while I calmed myself down and sipped on a bottle of coke.
The cafe was busy and we were late leaving to get back, but we weren't too worried as the tattooist explained earlier that he had two girls coming in to get their navel's pierced at the same time he was going to do my nipples.
We got back and he came over asking us about what jewellery I wanted (straight barbell, ring, part ring etc) and the sizing. We didn't know if the smallest would be too small (depending on how swollen my nipples would be afterwards) so we opted for the larger part rings (they aren't large as such, but bigger than the others). He explained that he would sterlise them and then we'd be ready.
By the time I got into the tattoo studio to have it done, it was 30minutes after we got there. Needless to say, the extra wait made me more nervous and I was quite surprised by how much I was sweating. The adrenalin was well and truly pumping through my veins.
We went into the studio (the only one, where a guy was behind me getting a tattoo at the same time), and I sat down while Master stood to my right and slightly behind me. He (tattooist) said "Okay, I'll mark it out". To which I knew meant I had to take my t-shirt and bra off for him. Surprisingly, it never even entered my mind to give a second thought to the fact that he was a complete stranger and he was about to see me topless.
He marked out where the piercings would go and I think he asked if I was ready. I took Master's hand and looked away - I'm really not a big fan of needles (regardless of my multiple tattooes and other piercings). The first one (left) was painful (as expected), but not so much as the second one (right). After the first one, he asked if I was okay. I said yes, but asked for a little time between having the first and second done. He was okay with this (thank god, as I don't think I could have jumped straight into having the next one done). There wasn't a long pause between the two, maybe 5minutes, if that. I was ready for my right nipple to be pierced.
Again, I grabbed hold of Master's hand and looked away, but also grabbed a table with my other hand. This one hurt more, as I expected it would. Although Master didn't watch my left nipple being pierced He did watch my right (not that I knew at the time - I asked Him later if He watched). I was concerned later that I had squeezed His hand to hard, but He assured me that that was not the case, and that He was proud I was so brave. He later told me that He could tell (by how hard I was squeezing His hand) that what hurt the most was when he threaded the ring through and then removed the plastic tube. (If you don't know what I mean by this it's best to look up the particulars online as to how it's done, as I'm pretty terrible at explaining things).
I was feeling okay, a little shaky, but ok. I sat there for a little while, had a drink from my water bottle I had brought with me, and then decided it was time to leave. I went to put my bra back on, but decided it was best to leave it off for the moment, as my nipples were feeling extremely sensitive. I asked Master to pass me my handbag, so that I could conceal my bra in it (thus not walking out with it in my hand). Thank god women have big handbags - this time it certainly came in handy. Master paid and we left - this was a gift from Him.
We walked outside and although I was feeling alright, I wanted to sit down. This is where I took the chance to relax a little and have a ciggarette. It felt really strange being in public not wearing a bra (I tend not to do this normally as my breasts are on the larger side). We sat there and had a smoke and talked for a little while. Then I informed Master that it was probably best to go to the chemist to get some panadol on the way home, as I figured I would be in a little pain for a little while. He was nice enough to tell me to sit there and relax while He walked up the road to get it for me. By the time He got back, I had crossed the road and was standing next to the car. It felt like an incredibly long time that He was at the chemist. All I remember is thinking that people would surely notice 1) that I wasn't wearing a bra and 2) that my nipples were pierced. The breeze also got to me, not that it had a chill factor or anything, but just because my nipples were so sensitive, I was acutely aware of it (as I am even now).
We returned home and it didn't take me long to have my top off airing out my new additions and just plainly getting used to having metal in my nipples. I spent most of the next few days like this (while at home), going from being topless to having a bikini top on (depending on how sensitive the twins were at the time). Needless to say, Master didn't mind, and I know I saw Him looking at them while we were watching tv, and I could swear that His shorts were tenting as a result of the view he had.
I am more than happy that I got them pierced, and can't wait to play with them when they have healed. I also can't wait to change the jewellery and am really looking forward to trying nipple shields. They are already starting to get itchy which means they are healing, but I have been a good girl and have refrained from scratching.
There's nothing left to say except: I love my two new piercings!!!
Love Lucy xox
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
As some of you may have realised I have stopped blogging these updates, but more to the point because of certain things happening over the past few months, I haven’t had the freedom to masturbate as frequently or for as long as I would like.
I was on the phone to Him last night and my mind wandered (not unusual)…lol. I thought about having a secret code that we could use so that I could text Him (even while at work) that wouldn’t be dead obvious what I was texting Him about (me masturbating, for how long I did it etc). So that if for some unlikely reason someone read the message or saw the message while He was reading it, they wouldn’t understand. So, while I love sending dirty and naughty text messages to Him (and think I’m quite good at it), this is a more practical way of letting him know instantly what I’ve been up to, or what I’m doing at that moment without telling him exactly.
We’ve established that we’ll use numbers as our code. It certainly limits us more than what using letters does, but we’ll see how it goes. So far we have only worked out what 1 to 4 are.
I text the number 1 to Him when I’ve put may hands between my legs and touch myself only for a little while. I do this frequently throughout the day, so no doubt He’ll be getting many number one texts.
Number 2 corresponds to what we call my pre-masturbation warm up, where I set myself up and anticipate what is to come later. I generally do this either while I’m having a shower, just after I’ve pissed or while watching TV or a DVD.
I text the number 3 to Him just as I’m starting my masturbation session, and number 4 is sent when I’m done. This last text is to also include how long I spent masturbating and how many orgasms I had.
So far today I’ve sent 2 number 1 text messages which although doesn’t sound like many, considering I’ve been asleep or out most of today, that’s doing pretty well. I’m just wondering what to set 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 0 as. If anyone has any ideas, please leave a comment. I’d love to hear what you think, or what you’d set them as if you were in my position.
Have a good one.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
All I know is that I love it. I love being told what to do, I love pleasing Him. I love knowing that me being pleased is not a top priority. I love that I have a job, and that job is me submitting to Him, and everything that comes with it.
I find it difficult to request what I want when it comes to being intimate. Perhaps that’s just because He’s my first and only partner (and He’s more experienced) or perhaps that’s just who I am.
I love that He takes control and tells me what to wear (or what not to wear), when I can and can’t masturbate, when I can and can’t orgasm.
I came across an interesting point on Persephone’s blog where her owners stated that she was thinking of her orgasm as being for her. They corrected her and stated that it wasn’t for her and that nothing of her body is for her. “You feel the benefits of it, but it’s not for you”. This struck a chord with me, which rang so true. I know that the orgasm’s I have are because of Him allowing me to have them, but I always thought that it’s because He wants me to be pleased and obtain what I need. I’m sure this is true, but when looking at it from the other perspective, they aren’t for me. My orgasm’s are essentially for Him, after all, He’s the one that is either allowing or denying them. And although I’m receiving the specific pleasure from them, it’s the pleasure that he’s receiving by me having an orgasm that is most important.
Of late, I’ve been asking Him to tell me when to orgasm. I’ve felt it coming, but being a masturbation addict I drag it out longer and tease myself. A few times over the years He’s told me that He’s going to count down and that I was to orgasm when He reached a certain number. I wasn’t as trained as I am now, and I couldn’t manage to orgasm from His command. Back then my thoughts were “well, I know this is what I’m supposed to do, but I can’t. I can’t orgasm on command, and it really doesn’t matter if I do or not, He won’t be upset, He’ll understand”.
My headspace has changed from when I thought this. I know now that it’s really not about me. It’s not about me deserving to have an orgasm or even earning the privilege to have one. It’s about Him. It’s about what He wants, and what He wants to see.
So, as I said, lately I’ve been asking Him to command me to orgasm. It has been working, and it’s been working because I know commanding me isn’t for my benefit, and neither is my orgasm. He is in control of me, He knows what I need, but more importantly, it’s what He needs.
I must state here that when He commands me it’s not at a random time. It’s not while I’m washing up or reading or at any other non-sexual moment like these. I am commanded when I have been masturbating and He knows that I’m getting there. It just pushes me to that edge that normally I would hold out for, teasing myself for longer.
I obviously enjoy having an orgasm, but it’s more than that when He commands me. It’s another way of me submitting to Him and showing Him just how much I love Him and how much I love Him having control over me. It’s giving up that power, giving up a part of me, but letting Him have it instead.
I enjoy my orgasms more when I know He wants them, and they are better because when I have them, they happen at the exact moment He wants them to.
So why is that I'm submissive? Because it's what I need and what I crave.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
My thoughts have since changed on the subject (apparent by me referring to it as pissing for Him - an affectionate term).
Doing something like this was extremely difficult for me. I was brought up in a household where being a lady was very much enforced, and it was just implied that having someone watch or even listen was not appropriate. This is why, I think, it was such a big thing for me to overcome.
As I said in my comment on Persephone's blog, it is easier starting with letting Him listen while you are on the phone together. I think it's easier, because you don't have to see or hear their reaction to what you're doing.
The first time He watched me, we were in a motel and needless to say (being the first time) I did not initiate it. I had always enjoyed pissing in the shower, there's just something refreshing about it (well I think so anyway). So when He wanted to watch, I knew my feeling of being uncomfortable would be somewhat eased if I wasn't sitting on the toilet, but in familiar settings (even though it wasn't my bathroom). It wasn't as easy as I hoped it would be. I found it extremely difficult, but managed ok (I think). The humiliation of it was well...humiliating. At the time, I was just barely turned on by the fact that He was watching me do something so private. In theory, I loved the idea and it turned me on immensely. But as is always the case, everything is always better in theory.
Since then, He has watched me a few times while I've been on the toilet. We've been having a conversation during those times, and that makes it easier. It's funny how the mind works, but knowing (or perhaps hoping) that He was concentrating more on what I was saying, rather than what I was doing helped me relax a bit. It's almost like when you were in highschool and you were keeping eye-contact with your teacher while passing notes to your friends. You both know what you're doing, but you hope that the other person doesn't pay that much attention.
After this happening a few times and him also listening to me, it has become a lot easier. I no longer shut the door when I go to the toilet, and this in itself is a huge step for me, let alone anything more.
Ever since we started discussing the idea of me pissing for Him, I knew it was going to be difficult. But I also knew that I wanted it, and I wanted to get to a point where I was comfortable enough to initiate it. This I managed to do during our last visit.
I knew earlier on in the day that I wanted to show Him what a good girl I could be by pissing for Him. Because I'd never initiated it, I knew He wouldn't expect it, but hoped He'd enjoy that. I'm a big water drinker anyway, so it wasn't that out of the ordinary for me to be drinking as much as I was on this particular day. I wanted my bladder to be as full as it could be and for me to be at a point where I couldn't hold on any longer. Thus, ensuring I couldn't back out, but more importantly that it went on for longer, meaning He would enjoy it more.
We were laying down on the mattress and both of us had been masturbating for awhile. I could feel that I was getting close to the point where I wouldn't be able to hold on, but I wanted to wait until I was absolutely sure that I couldn't hold out. When this moment came, I stopped playing and whispered in His ear that I wanted Him to watch me piss for Him. Because I was so close I couldn't see His facial expression, but He later told me that He was surprised but in a good way.
I went into the bathroom and prepared. I was ready, all I had to do was get the water temperature right in the shower. (I still can't bring myself to piss without the water running). He sat down on the bath mat, as I sat on one end of the bathtub. I spread my legs, put both my feet on the outside edges of the tub, and held my cunt open for Him to see. I started pissing for Him without any worries this time around.
He was at eye height with my cunt and most of the time I was watching His reaction as He continued jerking. Occasionally I would look down and watch myself pissing for Him, and then back to His expression.
It was so wonderful to share something so personal with Him, but I was also so proud of myself that I had overcome my initial 'fears' of having Him watch me. I was proud that I pissed for Him, but even more proud that He didn't have to ask me, that I asked Him to watch. He was also proud of the achievement of His good girl.
Just thinking about that makes me feel so wonderful and loved. It's certainly going to be a memory that I'll never forget, and one that I'm going to be replaying for quite some time to come.
So, needless to say...this submissive slut will be initiating toilet fun more often! And definitely looking forward to Him taking photo's and video's of me pissing for Him in the future.
Friday, August 03, 2007
At the end of this year I am making a rather big move in deciding to move in with Him. It’s not just about being big because it’s the first time I’ll be moving out of home, or the fact that I’ve never lived with a man before, or even that I’m moving towns after living in the same one for over two decades. It isn’t just one of these things, it’s all of them. I know I’m in for one hell of a journey, and I’m extremely excited!
The move is inching closer every day, some days it feels like it won’t ever get here, and other days it feels like I can almost touch it (the switch between these two is frustrating!). In thinking about moving, I’m also thinking about the fact that we’ve discussed collaring, and how we both feel about the topic. We both want to have a ceremony to signify me officially becoming His. In saying this, I’ve been thinking about the fact that I’ll be wearing something of His and I kind of want Him to do the same. (It’s here that I can’t give too much away in how I’m thinking, as He reads my blog). I’ve got it planned as to what His gift from me will be. The collaring ceremony will be even more special, as this is our first Christmas together and we’ll probably do it around then, hopefully on Christmas day.
I have done a bit of research online and have looked at how ceremonies are generally conducted etc, and the one thing that stood out was the fact that “vows” are exchanged, like at a wedding ceremony. So, when I knew this I thought of writing something myself, which will (hopefully) express how much He, and our relationship means to me. (Again, I can’t say too much, as I know He’ll be reading this at some point). Anyway, I started writing these not long after doing my research, and although I thought they were finished, I have added more to them today. Maybe I’ll change them between now and then, maybe I won’t, but for the moment, I’m happy with what I’ve written.
I’m excited that our lives are coming together, and that as each day passes by, it is a step closer to me becoming His, even more than what I already am.
I wish you all the very best, and I hope that we all find that special someone/Master who brings out the best in His or Her submissive toy.
Monday, July 23, 2007
I believe this is due to my age, and the fact that I have only ever slept with one person (who, I might add, is a lot more experienced than what I am). This works well when it comes to the whole submission lifestyle. I’m starting to express myself to Him more as time goes on, but I’ve been lucky that He can read me as well as He can, and knows me as well as He does. Because of this, I don’t really have to tell Him what I want.
One thing that I found difficult to deal with was the fact that I prefer masturbating to having sex. At first I put it out of my mind, and was in denial. I just didn’t want to believe that I enjoyed masturbating more than I enjoyed sex. After all, society tells us that this just isn’t “normal” or what “should be”. I “should” prefer to have sex with my partner, than to indulge in self-pleasure. For me, this is not the case. It doesn’t have anything to do with His skills. In fact, it’s not really about Him. As selfish as that sounds, it’s true.
We all know that we’re the best person to please ourselves. We know exactly how it feels at the time, and can adjust what we’re doing automatically to make it feel better, to bring ourselves closer to the edge, or to back away when we want it to last longer. When someone else is pleasing us, it’s more complicated to explain to them what’s working, or not, and how to improve on what they’re doing to make it better.
I have now come to terms with this fact. I no longer feel as if I’m doing something wrong and I don’t over analyse it like I used to. I take it for what it is and that at the end of the day, I’m pleased and contented with it, and it suits me, and that’s all that matters. I don’t care whether society tells me that it shouldn’t be this way, because it suits me. This is what our relationship consists of. I no longer have my Master use my cunt, unless He’s lubing His cock up to use my arse. We happily watch each other masturbate to orgasm, and we’re both happy with this. This is our sex life. In saying that I prefer masturbating to having sex, I love for Him to use my arse. It feels great and I love feeling him cum in my arse. As well as that, I love having an orgasm when His cock is there. It’s a different kind of orgasm that’s extremely pleasurable.
I can confidently say that I prefer masturbation to having sex, and I don’t care that according to society, I shouldn’t. To a certain extent, especially when it comes to the do’s and don’ts of sex, I make my own rules and don’t listen to what society tells me is the so called “right” way to do it. Personally, I think this is the best way to be.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
But not only that, He suggested that He'll pretend to be another customer and line up behind me at the checkout. While the checkout guy or girl is ringing up what I owe them, Master thinks it will be amusing to say "Looks like you're in for a fun night" or something along those lines. Obviously, this is going to seriously embarrass me. I mean, as if I wasn't going to be embarrassed enough! Oh well, that's up to Him anyway, I can't stop Him or sway Him to change His mind in anyway. I guess I'll just have to deal with it.
Master is also going to pick which checkout we go to. He suggested either one with a young pretty girl on it, or maybe one with an older woman on it. Obviously the older woman will have more experience, and Master seems to think that maybe she'll pick up on why I'm buying the phallic shaped fruit and veg that I am.
I shall keep you posted as to what happens and what unfolds....
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Although I'm not normally a shy person, I am when it comes to initiating anything sexual or masturbating in front of Him. It's not that I don't love masturbating for Him, I just find it a little difficult openly masturbating when we're not doing anything sexual at the time, say for instance watching tv or something like that. Mind you, masturbating while I'm watching tv doesn't seem to be a problem normally. Not that anyone is watching then.
I'm comfortable with who and what (a masturbator) I am, I'm just not accustomed to openly masturbating for someone. This is something that I've been told that I have to work on. While He's here, He wants to see the real me, the true me, the masturbator in me.
He's told me that whenever I get the urge to masturbate, He wants me to. And while sometimes He may join in, other times He won't, and at other times He'll just continue what He's doing. I'm going to try my best to please Him and show Him the real me, but I know it's not going to be easy.
I'm sure I"ll feel more comfortable because I'm in my own home, but there's just one thing I'm concerned about, and this is what has been my only concern. I want to masturbate openly for Him, and do it when I feel like it. Although, I'm concerned that when He sees me for me, and sees just how much I masturbate, that He'll think it's excessive and that I do it too frequently.
I know I have to get past this concern, and I want to. So I guess the only way to do that is to show Him the true masturbator in me, and hope that He likes what He sees and doesn't think I'm too excessive with my play time.
We have agreed that the week will basically consist of masturbation, sleeping, eating and not much else. This suits me fine! :-) He asked me on the phone last night how I wanted the days to go, and I told Him the truth...
I want us to wake up in the morning, and before we do anything, I want to masturbate for a good hour and a half / two hours (this is my usual masturbation time). Then we'll get up and have breakfast and have a shower etc. Following this, I want us to masturbate some more, probably for the same amount of time. After this, we'll have lunch and probably relax a bit. Maybe watch some tv or read a magazine or something. During this time, I'll probably still have one hand between my legs, diddling my clit, getting ready for the next session. Then we'll get into the third session of the day, which will take us through until it's time to get dinner prepared. We'll have dinner, clean up, have our nightly shower, maybe watch some more tv (or put a blue movie on) and start the next session prior to bed.
I love the idea of having the freedom to masturbate for as long as I want, whenever I want, for the whole time He's here. It's an incredible turn on.
I was told last night that I'd be going shopping while He was here. I wasn't quite sure what He meant, but I was soon to find out. He said that I was to go grocery shopping. "okay sure, mundane job to get food in between our masturbation sessions. yep righto". Wrong! Yeah sure, we've got to eat, but that's not what I was going shopping for. At this point, I was told that I'd be going to Woolies (supermarket) and I was going shopping for fruit and vegies. I was intrigued.
No, I'm not shopping for fruit and veg so that we can eat it...I have to go shopping, and I have to find fruit and veg that I want to use as dildo's to fuck myself with. Yes, that's right. Whether it be carrots, cucumbers or those buttenut pumpkins that are in that nice pearish kinda shape for me to shove up my cunt and make myself moan an groan while doing so. All I could manage to say was "that's interesting". And I thought it was.
Until I went into Woolies today to get some chocolate and started blushing as I saw the fruit and veg section. I tried so hard not to think about what I'd be doing the next time I walked in there, but boy was it difficult!!! I'm sure Master will find this very amusing.
See the thing that's been running through my mind is: What happens when I select the fruit/veg that I want to buy and I go to the checkout....it's just a normal day, just like any other, but here I am, at the checkout, probably buying nothing but fresh produce all phallic shaped. Will the checkout girl or guy pick up on that? Will they suspect what I'm going to do with the produce once I get home? Or will they just be oblivious to it? All I hope is that I'm not going to make it too obvious. God I hope I don't blush too much. It's certainly going to be an experience and a half for me.
The reason for purchasing the produce, other than for something new and different to use... is that Master wants me to masturbate in every room in the house. He wants me to be able to walk into a room and look at an object and know that I've masturbated myself to at least one orgasm with it. This has stemmed from what I've told Him previously about different household objects that I used to use when I was younger. You know, like the handle of a toothbrush (which is what I started with, apart from my fingers), or the handle of a hairbrush etc.
It's certainly going to be an interesing week, that's for sure!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
I have been using my large buttplug, as He instructed me to do. Every time I masturbate, this is what fills my arse. It is quite a fair bit bigger than the old one, and feels so much better.
He wanted me to use the big one so that my arse would be used to having something large fill it. Needless to say, this worked. It really didn't take that much effort for Him to have His cock buried deep in my arse. I'm thoroughly pleased about this, especially considering my arse is His primary fuckhole.
God I really miss having my arse fucked by my Master!
It just feels so fucking good to have it full with His cock.
I can't wait for the next time......
Monday, May 28, 2007
All I know is that I love it. I love being told what to do, I love pleasing Him. I love knowing that me being pleased is not a top priority. I love that I have a job, and that job is me submitting to Him, and everything that comes with it.
I find it difficult to request what I want when it comes to sex. Perhaps that’s just because He’s my first and only partner (and He’s more experienced) or perhaps that’s just who I am.
I love that He takes control and tells me what to wear (or what not to wear), when I can and can’t masturbate, when I can and can’t orgasm.
I came across an interesting point on Persephone’s blog where her owners stated that she was thinking of her orgasm as being for her. They correct her and stated that it wasn’t for her and that nothing of her body is for her. “You feel the benefits of it, but it’s not for you”. This struck a chord with me, which rang so true. I know that the orgasm’s I have are because of Him allowing me to have them, but I always thought that it’s because He wants me to be pleased and obtain what I need. I’m sure this is true, but when looking at it from the other perspective, they aren’t for me. My orgasm’s are essentially for Him, after all, He’s the one that is either allowing or denying them.
I ahve obviously gotten off track and in a later post I shall address why I think I'm submissive (or I will try to at least).
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Last night I was doing some thinking, not about anything real specific, when I started entertaining the thought of a collaring ceremony. This isn’t something that I’ve been thinking about of late, but with a recent shift in our relationship, I feel it would be appropriate now. Not only that, but I feel and believe that I am ready to make that next step to committing to Him.
I have done some research today (online) regarding how these ceremonies are usually conducted (what is said and exchanged etc) and after doing this I feel even more ready. While having a look online to see the details of how it normally works, it seems pretty standard for not only the Master to present the submissive with a collar but for her to present him with a token too. We shall be spending Christmas together and as I have His present already organised, I believe that this would be an excellent opportunity for us to conduct our own ceremony and for me to present this gift to Him as a token of my devotion to Him.
My Master had a long day today and was extremely tired when I told Him of this idea. He informed me that He would have a think about it and get back to me. I won’t push the idea, as I want Him to want it as much as I do. Although, I must admit that I am rather excited at the prospect of showing Him how devoted I am, and being collared by Him.
I guess I shall just wait and see what He wants.
Another thing I found while searching for some information today was the idea of having a contract between the two of us that stated what the slave’s role is, what the Master’s role is, and what each of them agree to. This I also found rather interesting. I would also like for my Master and I to agree to a contract and be bound by it.
I hope that this (at least the ceremony, if not the contract) is something that we can do and share together (if not at Christmas, then at some point down the track). I honestly feel that there’s been a shift in my thoughts regarding our relationship. I have turned a corner, and feel that I am more ready and willing to submit to Him, more than I ever have been. I believe that both a collaring ceremony and a contract between the two of us would just enforce this.
Something else that I found interesting today was the question of “Are you a Lifestyle Submissive or do you just like kinky play?” The difference as defined by Mistress Catharine (from http://www.bdsmcircle.net/opinione/areyoualifestyle.htm) is: “a lifestyle submissive is one who enjoys and desires to serve, and actually be of service to their dominant outside of a sexual scene.” Mistress Catharine also states: “Our submissives desire to please Us and desire Our happiness, fulfilment and contentment and not only during a scene. The thought of the dominant's pleasure turns on a submissive and although they have their own tastes and kinks that they enjoy more than other kinks, they would not dream to dictate a scene. A submissive is attentive to the dom.”
I have come to the conclusion that I am a lifestyle submissive (based on Mistress Catharine’s definition). I will do anything to please my Master and I feel distressed if I have done or said something that has hurt or disappoinyted Him. I always want my Master to be pleased and happy. However, it is also my need is for Him to be pleased and happy. I hate the way I feel if I have let Him down and disappointed Him in any way, shape or form, and following this is quite a number of days where I feel disappointed in myself for the words spoken or the actions I have taken. It is unbearable to know that I have done something wrong and disappointed Him or hurt Him.
So there you go, I am a lifestyle submissive and I embrace this, as well as fully embracing the true me, warts, kinks, fetishes and all.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
I finished in the toilet and went to have my shower. I love the feel of the water running over my naked body, especially my breasts. After having Him play with my cunt not too long ago, I was feeling horny. I couldn’t help myself. I reached for the shower gel and squeezed a generous amount onto my right hand. I started masturbating, using the shower gel as lube. God, how that always feels good. After a little while I knew I had to stop as I was getting close to cumming. I hopped out of the shower, dried myself and went into the bedroom to see what clothes I was required to wear for the day.
As I walked in, the outfit (or lack thereof) was laid out on the bed. There was a pair of crotchless fishnet tights, no panties, a short black skirt that barely covered my arse and cunt, no bra, and a top that was so low cut it was difficult to keep my nipples from being exposed. I thought that maybe we were just going to spend the day at home, with me being His slave all day. As I was thinking this, He came up behind me, grabbed my arse, put His head on my shoulder and said “what do you think slut?” I smiled and said “I like the outfit, but I’m still curious as to what’s going to be so different about today.” He laughed a little. “Get dressed first, and all will be revealed.”
He sat down on the bed, ready to watch me get dressed. I pulled on the tights, ensuring my cunt was exposed through the hole. I decided to leave the top until last, as I know how much He loves to look at my breasts. I then pulled the skirt up over my legs, adjusting it so that you could just see the bottom of my arse. “Turn around for me.” He commanded. I slowly turned in a full circle for Him. “Very nice indeed. You look like the true slut that you are. Now put that top on for me.” I did as I was told and completed the outfit. He smiled “Yes, now you look very fuckable.” I smiled, I live to please Him.
“So, do I get to find out soon what’s going on today?” I asked. “First things first…” He opened one of the drawers in the bedside table and took out the largest buttplug I’d ever seen. This was a new toy...one I’d never used before. He could see the look in my eyes. “Do you know what you’re going to do with this slut?” I bit on my lower lip “Master’s going to make me fill my arse with it?” “That’s right, so get to it.” He said as He handed me the toy. I lay down on the bed and started pushing it into my cunt to get it all lubed up. “Mmm…that’s it; get it all wet and ready so it’ll slip into your arse nice and easy.” I continued doing this for some time until it was ready. I also lubed up my arse with my cunt juices so stretching it wouldn’t hurt as much. I was lying on my back, with my legs spread, ready to fill my arse when He lay down between my legs. I just looked at Him. “I want the best view.” He said. I nodded my head and placed the big buttplug at the opening of my arse.
I started to slowly push it in, already it felt like it was stretching it to the max, but I knew there was more to come. As I was doing this, His hands were running over my hairy legs. It took a little while to manoeuvre it and to push it all in, but when it did I couldn’t help but let out a low, but loud moan. “You didn’t think you’d get it all in there did you slut?” I managed to shake my head, it was feeling too good. “But then again, you didn’t think it’d feel this good to have your arse stretched either did you?” I managed to somehow say no. He smiled as He made His way up the bed. Resting His full weight on me He kissed me more passionately then He ever had before. As He broke the kiss, He moved His mouth to my ear. “You’re going to have that in your arse for the rest of the day.” I let out a gasp at the thought of having my arse stretched so much for so long.
He quietly laughed. “That’s not all you’ll be doing today. I’m taking you out in the Mini Cooper. I’ll be driving, and while I’m driving around town most of the day, you’ll be sitting in the front seat using your vibrator, masturbating for everyone who can see. You will not be shy about it. Your legs will be spread wide, and I know that after awhile, you’ll love the fact that anyone who is sitting higher than us (which will be most people), will be able to see just how much of a slut you are.” My cunt was getting wetter by the second as He described this all to me. I was apprehensive, but He’s my Master, and I am obedient. I am His slut, and today I will be showing this side of me to everyone out and about in town, who can see. He leans in closer still and whispers “I know there will be drivers who will get turned on watching you do this, but just think how good it’ll be if we pull up at a set of lights and there’s a truck beside us…He’s going to see what you’re doing. He’s going to see that you’re a slut who can’t help herself. A slut that has to masturbate wherever she goes. A slut that has to get herself off, even when out driving. But, when He sees the size of your vibe and how long and thick it is…he’s going to know that you’re a slut who needs to have her holes filled with big cock. You’re going to put on a show for him aren’t you?” He asks as His hand slides down to between my legs and ever so gently rubs my clit. I groan, “Yes Master, I’ll put on a show for that man”.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Maybe this is what I should always do from now on, when He's not here to watch me...take photo's of my well fucked cunt. Mmmm...I'd like that. I have to tell Him when I masturbate (as well as updating it on here), but I think it would be better if He made me show Him photo's of my cunt after I'm finished :-D
I was sitting up in bed, with the laptop in front of me reading the story as I was masturbating. I decided to look at myself in the mirror (to the side of the bed) to see what I looked like while masturbating. I was already getting close to having an orgasm, but for some reason...watching myself masturbate was edging me there easier. I watched myself orgasm and I enoyed it. I think I might watch myself more often. If I had a video camera, I'd film me doing this, so He can see just how much I enjoy it.
I'm getting to enjoy reporting here how I masturbate, what I use, how long I masturbated for and how many orgasm's I had. It was a bit of a chore in the beginning, but I'm enjoying it more and more. It's just a matter of funding the time to update, which can be a tad difficult if I'm busy. I love the fact that I don't know who's reading these updates on my masturbation sessions....but I'd really love it if more people commented on whether they like what they are reading or not.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
The only cock that will fill my cunt from now on will be made of plastic. As of this moment on, the majority of our sex life will consist of us watching each other masturbate. The only time that this will not happen is when He decides to use my arse to get Himself off. Even in this case, it is not His job to ensure I have an orgasm. That is mine. So when He decides that He will use my arse as His masturbation aid, unless I enjoy it and have been given permission to cum, it will be my job (after He's done) to masturbate myself to an orgasm (or many, depending on what He allows). Of course, while I'm doing this He will only watch me if He desires.
As well as the fact that my cunt will now only be filled with plastic cock, I have been instructed that I am to masturbate openly in front of my Master, whenever I get the urge.
I am having a little difficulty in doing this, purely because I'm not used to living with someone and being able to masturbate whenever or wherever I want. Not only that, but because of that, I'm rather shy. Don't get me wrong, I love having Him watch me masturbate. But it's the fact that I can now sit on the lounge, watching a dvd and masturbate while I'm doing so (or while doing some other activity). It's all new to me, but He insists, so I shall obey.
Truth be told...it's embarrassing for me to just start masturbating in front of someone (not to mention the fact that under normal circumstances it would be considered extremely rude and distasteful). Maybe this is another reason why He wants me to do this. Other than the fact that He loves watching me and loves me to watch Him. I am trying to be obedient, but it's hard to break 21year old habits.
I'm looking forward to our sex life from now on, only having Him fuck my holes under certain conditions. I am really looking forward to it. And if you had have said to me 5years ago that I would one day love to have a man who is my Master and would watch me masturbate, while getting as close as possible, ensuring that not only could He see how wet I was, He would be able to smell how wet I was...well I would not have believed you.
I'm ever so grateful that my Master knows me as well as He does...He has been so spot on re: knowing what my needs are and fulfilling them for me. But I know that without Him, I couldn't survive sexually, because it is very doubtful that a man would fulfill my needs as successfully as He does. I need to watch someone masturbate, and I need someone to watch me while I masturbate. Oh god, how I need that.
Thank you Master.
I love you.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
This pleased my Master. We spent close to and hour and a half on the phone to one another, while we both masturbated listening to one another.
Last night, an hour before my Master and I spoke on the phone, I was instructed to remove my panties at once and to think aout the fact that later I would be masturbating while he listened and did the same. I was also instructed to tease myself until we spoke.
Last night's session was different to ususal, with Him leading me down a different path to somewhere I'd never been. It was more sensual, and more enjoyable. He asked me whether I had thought of my masturbation as making love to myself, I had not. So instead of me just masturbating last night, I made love to myself while we were on the phone together.
As I said, it was more sensual and more enjoyable than normal, and it actually felt less naughty. I'm all for naughtiness, but it was a nice spin on the usual. As a result of changing how I thought about masturbation, I enjoyed myself more. When masturbating, normally I would have one or two orgasm's. While making love to myself, I had 4 orgasm's. It felt more real and less as a substitute for sex, than I ever thought possible.
He is constantly challenging me and getting me to think about things in a different way. I'm ever so glad we tried to do things differently last night. It was extremely enjoyable. Thank you Master.
Friday, April 27, 2007
He loves to watch me masturbate, and loves to hear me cum. I love Him listening and watching me. The orgasm's are so much more intense knowing that He can see and hear it all! It's even better when we're together in person. He likes to get real close when I masturbate. He has his head right next to my cunt, watching me fuck myself, listening to me fuck myself, but more importantly.....being able to smell me (which He can't do on cam). It's definitely one hell of a turn on for me!!!
I had better stop, otherwise I'm going to want to masturbate again.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Two days ago (Tuesday 24th April), I couldn't help myself and I masturbated for just under half an hour and came twice. I did not fill my arse with anything, and only used my hands and my latest toy - one rather thick and rather long vibrating cock. I masturbated while reading erotic, but taboo stories.
Friday, April 20, 2007
I was quite surprised that I didn't hear Him come home, and was shy and embarrassed about being caught. I continued reading but stopped maastubating for a little while, until I was told to continue.
I kept masturbating as He sat down beside me and started doing the same while watching me. I love to watch Him, knowing that I've played a part in getting Him that hard, that quick. I stopped reading the stories and focussed on what He was doing. Just watching Him got me so much more wet!!
He brought in some toys and made me fill my arse with my big butt plug. We proceeded to masturbate for some more time (which brought me close to 3hours in total). We then took the action into the bedroom where He used my cunt to get himself off. Then masturbated me to multiple orgasms.
I love my Master and will do anything to fulfill His needs, wants and desires.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The afternoon session was spent masturbating on webcam for my Master, while the night session was spent having phone sex with Him.
I came once in the afternoon session, and twice during the night session.
(I have been reprimanded by my Master previously and have been instructed that I must state the duration of my masturbation sessions, so that you all know just how much I love having my hands between my legs, trying to get myself off. I am positive that because I was careless and failed to note the duration of both these sessions, that I will be punished accordingly and as He sees fit, when we're next together).
Monday, March 19, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
I am a submissive slut who is controlled by a man who loves me for me, both what he can see and what he can't see (but feels).
I am a lover by nature, and a romantic at heart.
I am a dirty-minded woman who will try anything at least once.
I am upfront and honest.
I am not afraid to cry and show my emotions, and I love being in love!
I am loud and outgoing.
I am proud to be me.
I am an exhibitionist and love to be watched.
Above all else, I am who I am, and I love being me!
Although I did manage to find time to masturbate for just over an hour yesterday afternoon, and came once. Last night, I spoke with my Master on the phone and came once. I masturbated for another half an hour after we spoke and came again.
I certainly LOVE to masturbate! :-)
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
After highschool we believe we're independent and don't need anyone. (Remember thinking to yourself: "It's fine that *Sarah, *Rebecca and *Emily all have boyfriends, but I'm content by myself").
As we get older, we know that we need someone. (This is where the change comes in. We no longer believe that having someone to share our life with is important...we've reached a turning point and this is where we actually admit to ourselves that we do need someone).
Submission goes deeper than control.
For me, it's not just about someone having control over you, it's about opening yourself up and trusting that person fully. It's about bearing you to them. Not just parts of you, but telling them everything! When you get here it's amazing to know that there are no secrets and that He knows all there is to know about you (as well as all your dirty little secrets). You let go of "you", while embracing the true or real you.
I'm so content knowing this is the place for me, and not only is this where I want to be, I know it's where I need to be.
I masturbated before lunch, for 2hrs and came three times.
I masturbated later in the afternoon, for 1hr and came once.
And then I masturbated before going to bed, for just over an hour and came once.
Monday's total cum's: 5!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
My Master had asked me to make a list of all the things I wanted to try with Him. I was doing this yesterday morning, and as a result I got so horny and couldn't resist the urge to masturbate.
I did so for 1hr 15minutes and came twice.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
In today's society, where so much emphasis is placed on looking like a praying mantis, I am proud to say that I am a big beautiful woman!
I love my curves and the fact that you can't see my bones protruding.
I am voluptuous, and I'd be lost without my bumps and wobbily bits.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
- having my cunt paddled/whipped;
- wearing a chastity belt;
- getting my nipples, labia and clit pierced;
- using a spreader bar;
- pissing for Him in public;
- being restrained for long periods of time;
- masturbating on webcam for others .
These are just a few for the moment. I'm sure I shall think of more soon.
Monday, February 26, 2007
- Being controlled.
- Dressing up as his naughty girl.
- Pleasing Him.
- Having Him use me.
- Having to be ready all the time in case he wants to fuck me.
- Him pushing my limits.
- Being disciplined.
What more can I say? I can't really pinpoint everything I enjoy about having a Master, so these are just a few. It's difficult when one point is borderline being another etc. All of you submissive's out there know exactly what I'm talking about. All I can say, is that for whatever reasons I have, I just can't help myself, I love having a Master, and I love being His wet-cunted submissive sex slave!
I love him cumming while listening to me fuck my wet cunt.
And I love cumming when he tells me to.
It's even better when he encourages me to moan and groan for him. My orgam's are so much more intense when he's listening to me moan while I fuck myself!
Even better is the fact that I don't cum when I want to, I cum when my Master wants me to.
And that, to me, is submission at its best.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Are these descriptions accurate protrayals of me? Yes! I simply cannot get enough. I'd have sex more often if I had it my way.
I also can't stop myself from masturbating...while watching tv, at the computer, when I go to the toilet, in the shower, in bed, it doesn't matter! I can't keep my hands out of my pants (when I'm wearing them).
We're taught as young girls that masturbation is not okay. That "you shouldn't touch yourself there". But from a young sexually liberated, submissive woman, I say that all women should know how to doubleclick their own mouse, before letting a man (or another woman) handle their hardware! And it's about time that we don't hide the fact that we all do it. Granted, it's not exactly something that everyone thinks is appropriate dinner conversation, but nonetheless it certainly isn't something that is shameful or dirty. We should all have the freedom and the courage to masturbate until we're pleased. And if you haven't yet given it a go, try doing it while someone's watching, and even when their doing it too!
I was a somewhat innocent young woman when we met, but that soon changed. I soon changed.
My natural instincts are no longer repressed. I have become the submissive woman I subconsciously always needed to be.
He has ultimately guided me to be my true self. The person I should have always been, but never had the chance until now.