Can't you just love me for who I am?

It’s been almost 12months since I last shaved under my arms. (I don’t have worse b.o. now than when I was shaving regularly, it hasn’t really changed. Just in case you were wondering.) But I’m deciding whether it’s time to shave again. I don’t want to, but there’s a couple of factors that are making me think about it.

First off, I’m going back and spending Christmas with my family this year. And Christmas lunch, usually low key, with just a few people, is now being spent with extended family (20 or so people). It’s a (very) hot climate where I’ll be on the day, and to be honest, wearing a shirt with sleeves (to hide my hair) will be a rather uncomfortable option.

Now, some of you are probably thinking things along the lines of:
What’s the big deal, you’re comfortable with your hair, so why shave? or
It’s not their body, you’re only seeing them for a little amount of time and then leaving, so they can just deal with it. Etc.

See, the thing is, it’s not as simple as that. As much as I wish it was, it just isn’t. Last time my mum came to visit me, she was surprised and shocked that I still hadn’t shaved my legs (it’s been 17months since I shaved them). And comments were made. She hadn’t seen under my arms, so for the 3days and two nights that she was here, I was doing all I could to wear tops that hid my hair. On the day she was leaving (not even 2hours before), I got a bit lapse, lifted my arm up too high, at the wrong angle and she saw. The expression on her face said it all. Complete horror, shock, disbelief, disgust. Whatever, however you want to classify it; it was immediately obvious that this was something she wasn’t really ok with.

In the past, when I was living at home, there were medical reasons* why I couldn’t shave my legs. This she accepted. She also accepted the fact that I couldn’t see in the shower well enough without my glasses to do a half decent job. The other night, I’m on the phone with her and the subject comes up. “You’ve got contacts now; you can see to do them. And what about under your arms?”. “Yes, but I’m still having problems* when I do shave”. (Not totally true, but since I’ve stopped shaving the problems have gone away).

This is something I’m quite sensitive about. When this was brought up, I was just sick of it being an issue for her, when it’s not with me. Okay, body hair isn’t accepted here on women (or in many other places for that matter), but fuck it, if I want to not shave, then I don’t fucking have to! I got quite stirred up when it was brought up. She even said “Don’t you think he wants you to shave?” to which my reply was “If he wants me to, he’ll tell me”. Then she started saying that she’ll just have to start calling me a hippie. This, just rubbed me the wrong way. My response was “And what if I don’t want to shave my legs? Can’t you just accept that this is me?” You could hear the disappointment in her sigh.

So this is where I am. Going home to spend a few days of the holidays with the family, knowing that this will be an issue. Knowing that something or many things will be said to me. And I just don’t feel like defending myself. And why the fuck should I? I’m happy with how I am, he’s happy with how I am. But then I think “fuck it. It’s just going to be easier to shave and not have these hassles”. Problem is, the more I think about it, the more attached I’ve become. And it’s also a matter of principle. I don’t see you all that often, so in the grand scheme of things, why should you care? Can’t you just still love me, warts hair and all? I had decided to shave for Christmas, and I even told him that I would. His reaction “why?”

And I’m visiting other family members tomorrow most of whom haven’t seen me in two and a half years, and I thought, “Well if I’m going to shave for Christmas, I should just get it over and done with and do it now, before I go and visit them”. Again, the more I think about it, the more I am against it.

I don’t want to shave to please other people, and I don’t have to; that’s my choice. But on the same token, I don’t want to be questioned about it either. I want to be strong and just say “fuck it. This is who I am. Like it or lump it.” But I don’t know if I am that strong.

Right now as I write this, I think I am strong enough to stand by my decision and have that attitude. But who knows, I’ve still got 24 hours until I leave to visit the family tomorrow, and 17 days until I go home for Christmas. I’ll probably swing back and forth between “yes, just do it” and “no, fuck ‘em” between now and then.

I’m attached to my hair. I’m a hair friendly woman. And I’m proud of that. Okay, so it may not be for everyone, but does anyone else really have a right to question me?

Only a quick one

Well, what a surprise I got Thursday night when I was talking to Him. He said that He was going to surprise me by coming to visit me on the weekend, but couldn't as He had commitments on Monday. Bugger! Then He asked about visiting this weekend that's coming up. I was all for it, until I realised that it would still be 'that' time of the month. Bugger again! So we chatted for a bit and I said that this weekend would be better for me. He then decided that He would come up Saturday morning and leave Sunday afternoon. Yahoo!

Although it was only a fleeting visit, it was wonderful to see Him again. And it was even better when He left...not because I wanted Him to go (I really didn't!), but because I knew I would be seeing him again in less than 3 weeks, there were no tears and I didn't plead with Him to stay longer (which is a big step for me, although not something I have to worry about once we move in together).

Oh how I've missed Him. And to be honest, it really is the little things that I miss the most. Like the daily kisses, waking up beside one another, having a meal together, getting cuddles and snuggling at night etc. Although in saying that, I did also really miss our masturbation sessions together. That's something that I was thinking about most of yesterday, in the lead up to last night. Mmm, my cunt's getting wet just thinking about it.

Last night was different. It was needy, and yet loving at the same time. I needed for Him to watch me play again, and I needed to watch Him jerk. However, we were also very loving with kisses and caresses. Although, it was more needy than loving (I think).

I was rewarded by being allowed to help Him as he jerked. I absolutely LOVE licking and sucking His balls as He jerks! There's something so animalistic about it for me. I enjoy it that much that He's told me previously that sometimes I get too eager and carried away. It's been a long time since He has let me help, and being able to do that again last night was just heaven. But it was different. He encouraged me to venture down further. He verbally coaxed me to lick His arsehole (something I've never done to anyone before).

I was a little apprehensive, and had many thoughts running through my head.
What would it taste like?
What would it feel like?
Would I be any good?
Could I do it right, or would I have to be taught?

I didn't have to worry about my ability...I was informed that I am a natural. (insert self proud smile here). As for the others, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I imagined it would be. I liked it; it was different. And He obviously enjoyed it. After all, I was told that I would be doing it more often from now on.

After I got over my initial apprehensions, I relaxed more. And He held my ponytail, and me in place, ensuring I continued what I was doing. I alternated between licking and sucking His balls, and licking His arsehole.

One thing I really love about licking and sucking His balls while He jerks is the fact that I'm constantly hit in the face with His fist as He pumps away. I've never been bruised from this, although the thought does turn me. It's strange but good. When I'm doing it, I'm face-to-face (or face-to-fist) with the fact that He would rather jerk off than have sex with me in the 'normal' way. I love seeing it so close. It shouldn't turn me on, the fact that He would rather jerk, but it really does. I love that He prefers His hand to using my cunt.

He asked me last night if I was still happy that this was how our sex life was. In between short breaths from fucking myself with my big dildo, I managed to smile and look Him directly in the eye and state that I wouldn't have it any other way. I quizzed Him if He was still happy with it, and the reply I got? "I never want to fuck you again". *sigh* Heaven really is a place on earth. I love hearing Him tell me this, it gets me more wet than I already am, without fail.

I watched Him jerk, as He alternated between playing with His balls and having my hairy leg rubbing against them. I watched as He enjoyed himself immensely, and came all over my leg. He showered me with His love. This followed with Him encouraging me to fuck myself harder, faster and deeper with my dildo. I'm His good little girl and did as I was told. He licked and sucked on my nipples, edging me closer and closer. He counted down from 20 for me. God how I LOVE hearing Him say "Zero. Cum for me slut!" And I did as I was told, and as I did, He pulled on my nipples harder (just as I like it), and I kept on cumming.

I fell asleep as peacefully as I could, knowing I had just been His good little girl again. A smile came across my face just before I fell asleep..knowing He would be there in the morning as I woke up. And wouldn't you know...that smile was back on my face as soon as my eyes opened this morning. Heaven really is a place on earth.