I know it's been a little while since I've updated (it happens). We've been sick again (or is that still?). Life has been pretty shitty of late with both of us feeling unwell and on medication. I've been (a bit of) a bitch to live with (hormones...need I say more?) and I don't care what anyone says, when you're sick, you get grumpy. And when you're sick on and off for as long as I have been, you really do get the shits. If it's not one thing, it's another. And you get sad. You just want one day where you feel half decent. That day was today (for me, not him), but the weather here is glum and that's not really helping me feel better. And when he's not feeling good, it sucks. I hate that I can't help in any way (just as he hates it when he can't help me feel better).
On a slightly different (but not-so-different) note, I'm getting healthier. Yeah, I know that sounds strange given the rant I've just had on being sick, but I am. For health reasons, I need to lose weight. This is coming along nicely, and I'm pleased that I am starting to fit into old clothes of mine that have been too tight (for too long). I'm starting to look better and feel better (both physically and mentally).
I went shopping the other night, and was (extremely) pleased that for the first time, in god knows how long, I didn't have to go to the "big gals" section of clothing or underwear! And I now weigh less than what I did when I graduated from high school (big achievement, and the first weight-loss goal of mine).
So far, I've managed to lose (read: get rid of) 13.5kg (or 29.76lbs). It hasn't been easy at times, and I still eat crap (i.e. chocolate, chips etc), only now I eat less of it and know when I've had enough. Previously, I've heard people say "Nothing tastes as good as being healthy/skinny feels" and when I heard that I just thought "What a load of fucking shit! You can't tell me that it feels THAT good!". Well I can tell you it certainly does. And I honestly never thought that I would agree with them (how times have changed).
Now, apart from knowing I'm healthier, I'm going to live longer and I'm feeling better....what's the best part about my weight loss?
My confidence boost for sure. There really is nothing like losing weight (especially when it needs to be done) to give my ego a little kick in the right direction. I now walk down the street with a spring in my step. I no longer walk along looking at my feet, avoiding eye contact with people. I walk tall and proud, I make eye contact and I smile (that smile that He loves) and I know that I look good. (See...told you my ego's been given a boost. But not in a look-at-me/give-me-all-your-attention kinda way).
I'm not skinny, I'm still curvy and voluptuous. I know there are plenty of other women out there that have better figures than me, and are prettier than me. But you know what? I don't really care. Why? Because there always will be. I am not delusional in thinking I am the bees knees. I am not perfect and never will be perfect. However, I'm on my way to reaching my goals. I'm doing this for me and me alone. Sure it's great that I'm now better looking to Him (even though He's always loved me just the way I am). But ultimately, this is something I need to do for me.
I just can't wait until we're both feeling better so we can take advantage of my weight loss and have some awesome fun in the bedroom!
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