Monday, February 04, 2008

Anal

I miss anal sex. I can’t help it. I love having something up my arse. But nothing feels as good as when He’s fucking my arse, pounding into me, and I’m breathless, because I am, and always will be, an anal slut.

I don’t normally ask for it when I want it. I don’t ask for it at all. Why? Because I don’t like the ‘mess’ associated with anal play. I feel dirty (not in a good way) about my messiness when it comes to anal fun. And I know this can be helped by an enema, but that’s something that really scares the shit out of me (no pun intended!).

He has bought a home enema kit, but we’ve never used it. It’s always been something that will happen sometime, but at this stage hasn’t as yet. I know the basic idea of how it’s done etc, but it still scares me. This will probably sound stupid…but isn’t that something that is just a little too personal for me to do with Him? And this thought is stupid, I feel silly even saying it. But, on the same token, it is really personal. Yeah okay, we’ve been together over 5 years now, but still.

I want to just say to Him “Alright, let’s try that enema”, but I just can’t bring myself to say it. It has nothing to do with me being afraid that He’s going to know I’m an anal slut – He knows that already. It’s the messiness and the embarrassment. That’s what it’s really about for me – how embarrassed I’m going to be. 1) Asking Him to try it, and then 2) actually doing it. I’m sure the results would be great, but how do I push myself to get to stage 1 of asking Him? I don’t want to be embarrassed about it, but I am. Although I’m a slut, sluts get embarrassed about some things too.

I want to have enough courage to just tell Him that although it scares me, and that I am terribly embarrassed about the whole thing, it’s something I want to do. I know He’s okay with it; after all He’s the one who bought the kit. He hasn’t pushed the topic, to which I’m grateful. However, I’m really starting to feel that this is something I want to experience, and soon.

I don’t get turned on by the embarrassment of this situation; I get turned on by how satisfying I’m sure the end result will be. And I’m sure that once I’ve done it one time, it will be a whole lot easier to do it again and again.

I want to experience nice and clean (hygiene), but dirty and nasty, full of passion and needy anal sex. I want to moan louder and louder as He pushes His cock further up my arse. I want to push back against Him, trying to force His cock further into me. I want Him to sweat. I want to hear Him grunt as He cums in my arse, and I want to moan as loud as I can when He lets me orgasm with His cock buried deep in my arse.

Lucy

8 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, I was just reading about this somewhere else (I'll try to find it and paste the link for you) but she did the prep work (using the kit) by herself first and then had a great time without any mess. But you know, the best thing about being in a committed and loving relationship...the ability to laugh off anything awkward that happens. I bet that y'all get into the whole D/s thing, but in the end I'm sure he'd never want you embarrassed to tell him things or share desires with him. I hope this all comes out okay (yes...pun intended)!

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  2. Here you go...

    http://littlegirlyone.blogspot.com/2007/04/anal-girl.html

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  3. Naughty Girl,
    Thanks for the comment and the link. It was actually Lg's post that spurred me on to share my thoughts on this.

    Lucy

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  4. Lucy, everything you said is exactly what goes on with me. We have had anal and I love it. But I to hate the idea of the mess that goes with it or the noise..lol. I know he really does not care, and infact has an enema kit a well. He is giving me time to adjust to the idea of the enema before we do it. I think women have a much harder time with this then men. But thats just my thoughts.
    Hugs...

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  5. i think that the reason i like enemas is because i can't really decide if i *do* like them. it's that squicky, back-and-forth, yes-no-i dunno aspect of them that i find compelling and sexy and scary all at the same time.

    do tell me what happens!

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  6. hey lucy,
    now i'm really glad that i waited so long to put up my post, because there are 3 of us posting about this topic at the same time! much less embarrassing this way. although unlike you i am turned on by my embarrassment, even though i really hate myself for that! anyway, let us know what happens. :)

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  7. Persephone,
    Just like you, I am turned on by my embarrassment. Which creates this circle that never ends - thoughts of embarrassment + arousing thoughts.

    I will let you all know what happens, when it happens (which I'm sure it will).

    We have spoken about this since I posted it, and we're going to take it slowly and (hopefully) be relaxed with it. He wants to set out a weekend just for some anal fun (including me receiving an enema), so we'll see how it goes. I am really looking forward to it, but at the same time I'm cringing just thinking about it.

    Thanks for all the comments.

    Lucy

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  8. so funny...but i know what you mean. the messiness of it is hard..but really you should be fine. good luck!

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