I miss anal sex. I can’t help it. I love having something up my arse. But nothing feels as good as when He’s fucking my arse, pounding into me, and I’m breathless, because I am, and always will be, an anal slut.
I don’t normally ask for it when I want it. I don’t ask for it at all. Why? Because I don’t like the ‘mess’ associated with anal play. I feel dirty (not in a good way) about my messiness when it comes to anal fun. And I know this can be helped by an enema, but that’s something that really scares the shit out of me (no pun intended!).
He has bought a home enema kit, but we’ve never used it. It’s always been something that will happen sometime, but at this stage hasn’t as yet. I know the basic idea of how it’s done etc, but it still scares me. This will probably sound stupid…but isn’t that something that is just a little too personal for me to do with Him? And this thought is stupid, I feel silly even saying it. But, on the same token, it is really personal. Yeah okay, we’ve been together over 5 years now, but still.
I want to just say to Him “Alright, let’s try that enema”, but I just can’t bring myself to say it. It has nothing to do with me being afraid that He’s going to know I’m an anal slut – He knows that already. It’s the messiness and the embarrassment. That’s what it’s really about for me – how embarrassed I’m going to be. 1) Asking Him to try it, and then 2) actually doing it. I’m sure the results would be great, but how do I push myself to get to stage 1 of asking Him? I don’t want to be embarrassed about it, but I am. Although I’m a slut, sluts get embarrassed about some things too.
I want to have enough courage to just tell Him that although it scares me, and that I am terribly embarrassed about the whole thing, it’s something I want to do. I know He’s okay with it; after all He’s the one who bought the kit. He hasn’t pushed the topic, to which I’m grateful. However, I’m really starting to feel that this is something I want to experience, and soon.
I don’t get turned on by the embarrassment of this situation; I get turned on by how satisfying I’m sure the end result will be. And I’m sure that once I’ve done it one time, it will be a whole lot easier to do it again and again.
I want to experience nice and clean (hygiene), but dirty and nasty, full of passion and needy anal sex. I want to moan louder and louder as He pushes His cock further up my arse. I want to push back against Him, trying to force His cock further into me. I want Him to sweat. I want to hear Him grunt as He cums in my arse, and I want to moan as loud as I can when He lets me orgasm with His cock buried deep in my arse.